by Linda K

My social butterfly of a son waved at the woman standing in line at a local Starbucks. Simon was 1）intrigued that the 20-something woman wore Army 2）fatigues. And she was curious about my 4-year-olds holiday plans.

“Are you excited about Christmas？” she asked， bending down to Simons eye level. Just behind her， gold ball ornaments shimmered on the cafes 3）spindly Christmas tree.

Before my son could answer， the woman continued. “What do you want Santa to bring you？”

My son smiled. “I dont celebrate Christmas，”he said matter-of-factly.

“Oh， so what do you celebrate？”

Simon stood straighter. “I celebrate Hanukkah.”

I was dumbfounded and proud. For the last few years， Ive struggled with a common challenge for parents of non-Christian children. How do I teach my child to be proud of his religious identity and customs， yet still respect the traditions of the majority in our country？

As a child， when someone asked me what I wanted from Santa， I often responded defiantly and rudely. The older I became， the more the question offended me. Why should everyone assume Im waiting for a man in a red suit to tumble down my chimney with a sack of gifts？ Santa delivered Christmas， not Hanukkah， gifts.

Simon filled me with pride because he answered not only politely， but sweetly. The woman responded in kind and wished him a happy Hanukkah.

My son surprised me， because I presumed he was still Santa-obsessed. Just a few weeks before the Starbucks encounter， Simon pleaded to walk into the 4）makeshift Santa home at a nearby mall so he could see Santa. I let him stand outside the mock Santa house and 5）gawk for a few minutes， then nudged him on to the mall play area. He shoved away his desire to 6）schmooze with Santa， but days later， Santa drew his focus again when we drove by glittering lights on trees in our towns main green.

“Look， the tree has a star on top，” Simon said of the tallest pine， then without pausing， asked， “Mommy， can Santa bring me gifts this year？”

“No， Santa cannot bring you gifts，” I said， working to keep my tone gentle. “Its O.K. if we enjoy the lights， but we dont celebrate Christmas. We celebrate Hanukkah.”

He fell silent in his booster seat. Until the recent encounter at Starbucks， I was unsure whether Simon had absorbed the message. The well-meaning woman had asked what she probably saw as an innocent query. But for many non-Christians， it is a loaded， complicated question. We do live in America， where the majority of people celebrate Christmas. Many Jews see nothing 7）awry with putting a Christmas tree in their homes or taking their children to sit on Santas lap. Even while my husband supports me on the no-Santa rule at home， he would probably take Simon to see that Santa at the mall.

Im O.K. if my son likes Santa， but I remain uncomfortable with the idea of Simon settling into Santas lap. Why？ Because Santa usually asks the same question the stranger posed，“So， what do you want Santa to bring you this year for Christmas？” Santa， as far as I know， does not ask， “What do you want Santa to bring you for Hanukkah？” Nor should he. The two holidays are distinct. Santa is a tradition connected to Christmas， a one-day holiday that celebrates the birth of Jesus Christ， a figure beloved to Christians. Hanukkah， an eight-day minor Jewish festival， in part， celebrates the Maccabees victory over the Syrian Greeks， who tried to banish many Jewish practices.

Christmas was one of the most difficult times of year for me as a child. From age 9 on， my brothers and I were the only Jews ina rural Ohio school system. Pastors led us in prayer at annual Christmas assemblies， and my peers and I sang about our love of Jesus in school Christmas concerts. I never knew how to respond when strangers asked me， “What do you want for Christmas？” or even “Are you done with your Christmas shopping？” I wished that I could just play along and make up answers. But Christmas 8）put me on edge， making me feel even more different and angry. I could not respond with my sons ease. Few of my peers even knew what Hanukkah was.

My son has an advantage. We live in a Boston suburb with three Jewish houses of worship. Simon has friends who celebrate Hanukkah. Christmas dominates the scene， but people acknowledge other religions existence. I walked into a local bank the other day， and both a 9）menorah and a Christmas tree were on display.

This Hanukkah， we will celebrate with family or friends on four of the eight nights. On the eighth night， we plan to attend a friends“10）ChrisKwanukah” celebration， a party paying homage to three winter holidays. My husband predicts the party will prompt Simon to ask a new set of questions. Fine by me. I dont want to shelter my son from the diversity of beliefs in America. But at home， we have one observance. Just as he told the stranger at Starbucks， he celebrates Hanukkah.

我那“交際花”兒子向著本地一家星巴克里一位排著隊(duì)的女子揮手。西蒙對(duì)那位二十來歲、身著軍裝的女子很感興趣。而她則對(duì)我那四歲兒子的假期計(jì)劃產(chǎn)生好奇。

“圣誕節(jié)要到了，你開心不？”她問道，同時(shí)彎下腰，與西蒙的視線保持同一高度。就在她身后，金色的圓球裝飾正在咖啡店里纖弱的圣誕樹上閃著微光。

我兒子還沒來得及回答，那位女子又接著道：“你希望圣誕老人給你帶來點(diǎn)什么禮物呢？”

我兒子微笑著?！拔也粦c祝圣誕節(jié)，”他鄭重其事地說。

“噢，那你慶祝什么呢？”

西蒙站得更直了：“我慶祝光明節(jié)?！?/p>

我感到既吃驚又驕傲。最近幾年，與很多信奉非基督教的孩子家長們一樣，我總是反復(fù)思量著這么個(gè)難題。我怎樣才能教導(dǎo)我的孩子，應(yīng)該為他自己的宗教認(rèn)同和習(xí)俗感到驕傲，但同時(shí)仍然對(duì)我們國家主流社會(huì)的傳統(tǒng)保有尊重呢？在我小時(shí)候，每當(dāng)有人問我想要圣誕老人給我?guī)硎裁炊Y物時(shí)，我的回答常常反叛而粗魯。年紀(jì)越大，這個(gè)問題就越讓我反感。為什么每個(gè)人都認(rèn)為我正在等候一個(gè)穿著紅衣服背著一袋禮物的男人從我的煙囪里掉下來呢？圣誕老人送禮物是為圣誕節(jié)，而非光明節(jié)。

西蒙讓我滿心驕傲，因?yàn)樗幕卮鸩粌H彬彬有禮而且可愛可親。那位女子也和善地回答了他，并祝他光明節(jié)快樂。

兒子的表現(xiàn)讓我感到驚訝，因?yàn)槲以詾樗€是一心想著圣誕老人的。僅僅在這次星巴克偶遇之前的幾個(gè)星期，西蒙還在懇求我們，希望能夠進(jìn)入附近一家購物中心臨時(shí)搭建的圣誕老人之家看看圣誕老人。我讓他站在那個(gè)仿建的圣誕老人小屋門口，呆呆地看了幾分鐘，然后催促他到購物中心的游戲區(qū)去玩。他暫時(shí)揮去了同圣誕老人閑聊的念頭，但幾天后，當(dāng)我們開車經(jīng)過城市主要綠化帶時(shí)，樹上閃爍的燈飾光芒又一次引起了他對(duì)圣誕老人的注意。

“看啊，那棵樹頂上有顆星星，”西蒙說的是那棵最高的松樹，接著他又毫不停頓地問道：“媽咪，今年圣誕老人能給我?guī)ФY物嗎？”

“不能，圣誕老人不能給你帶禮物，”我說道，盡量讓自己的語氣顯得溫和?！叭绻蕾p這些彩燈，那是沒問題的，但我們不慶祝圣誕節(jié)。我們慶祝的是光明節(jié)?！?img src="https://cimg.fx361.com/images/2018/07/08/qkimagesfkyyfkyy201312fkyy20131203-1-l.jpg"/>

他在安全座椅里陷入了沉默。在最近這次星巴克的偶遇之前，我都不確定西蒙是否聽懂了這條信息。這位好心的女子問了一個(gè)也許在她看來無傷大雅的問題。但對(duì)于許多非基督教徒來說，這是一個(gè)意味厚重的復(fù)雜問題。我們確實(shí)住在美國，這里大多數(shù)人都慶祝圣誕節(jié)。許多猶太人也不覺得在他們家里擺上圣誕樹或讓他們的孩子坐到圣誕老人的膝上有什么問題。甚至即便我丈夫在家支持我的“不過圣誕”原則，他很可能還是會(huì)帶著西蒙去購物中心看圣誕老人。

如果我的兒子喜歡圣誕老人，我能夠接受，但對(duì)于西蒙坐在圣誕老人膝上這種想法，我仍然覺得不舒服。為什么呢？因?yàn)槭フQ老人常常會(huì)問那個(gè)陌生人也會(huì)問的問題：“那么，今年圣誕節(jié)，你希望圣誕老人給你帶來什么禮物呢？”據(jù)我所知，圣誕老人不會(huì)問：“今年光明節(jié)，你希望圣誕老人給你帶來什么禮物呢？”他也不該這么說。這兩個(gè)節(jié)日是截然不同的。圣誕老人是一項(xiàng)與圣誕節(jié)相關(guān)的傳統(tǒng)，慶祝耶穌基督誕生的一天，耶穌是基督教徒們所熱愛的人物。而光明節(jié)則是少數(shù)猶太人所慶祝的為期八天的節(jié)日，某種程度上是為了慶祝馬加比家族戰(zhàn)勝敘利亞希臘人，后者試圖消滅猶太教起義。

在小時(shí)候，對(duì)于我來說，圣誕節(jié)是一年中最為難熬的日子之一。從九歲時(shí)開始，我的兄弟們和我就是俄亥俄州一所鄉(xiāng)村教育體系里僅有的幾個(gè)猶太人。牧師們?cè)谝荒暌欢鹊氖フQ集會(huì)上帶領(lǐng)著我們做禱告，我和同伴一起在學(xué)校的圣誕音樂會(huì)上唱誦著我們對(duì)基督的熱愛。當(dāng)陌生人們問我“圣誕節(jié)你想要些什么？”或甚至是“你的圣誕節(jié)大采購?fù)炅藳]？”時(shí)，我從來都不知道該如何回答。我希望自己能夠就順著他們的意思編造些答案。但圣誕節(jié)讓我緊張不安，令我覺得甚為困難和惱怒。我沒辦法像我兒子那樣輕松應(yīng)對(duì)。我的同齡人里甚至幾乎沒人知道光明節(jié)是什么。

我兒子有著優(yōu)勢。我們所居住的波士頓市郊有三間猶太會(huì)堂。西蒙有朋友也慶祝光明節(jié)。圣誕節(jié)占據(jù)了主導(dǎo)，但人們也了解其他宗教的存在。前幾天，我走進(jìn)一家本地的銀行，里面擺放的既有一盞燭臺(tái)，也有一棵圣誕樹。

今年光明節(jié)的八天里，我們將有四天會(huì)與家人或朋友一起歡度。在第八天晚上，我們計(jì)劃參加一個(gè)朋友的“ChrisKwanukah”慶祝派對(duì)，這是向三個(gè)冬季節(jié)日致敬的一次聚會(huì)。我丈夫預(yù)言說，這個(gè)聚會(huì)將令西蒙提出一堆新問題。對(duì)于我來說這不成問題。我不想向我兒子回避美國的信仰多樣化。不過，在家里，我們謹(jǐn)遵慣例。就像他在星巴克里告訴那個(gè)陌生人的那樣，他慶祝的是光明節(jié)。

小資料

Hanukkah 光明節(jié)，又稱重光節(jié)、修殿節(jié)，猶太人在每年年底慶祝的歷時(shí)8天的節(jié)日，紀(jì)念兩千多年前收復(fù)和重建耶路撒冷圣殿（Holy Temple of Jerusalem）的歷史。當(dāng)年一小隊(duì)馬加比族（the Maccabees）猶太人領(lǐng)導(dǎo)了一場反對(duì)塞琉西帝國（Seleucid Empire）的起義，恢復(fù)了猶太人宗教信仰的自由。