People out there have a lot of funny ideas about quiet people， the worst one being that all quiet people are alike. There are about 10 million reasons why someone might not talk very much， running the gamut from being shy， to hating you， to having sold their voice to a witch in return for legs.

Here’s a few of those assumptions：

人們對安靜的人有很多的有趣的觀點，其中最不好的就是：安靜的人都是一樣的。為什么有的人不喜歡講話？這簡直已經(jīng)成了十萬個為什么了，答案也千奇百怪：也許他們害羞，也許他們恨你，甚至有可能他們拿聲音跟女巫做交易換來了腿（小美人魚的典故）。

下面是其中一些猜想：

一、安靜的人更聰明，思想更深刻

Obviously， this one is put forth by some quiet people themselves，qzR18k7mSoEloszQ1YSlXnSoh43A706YvuUYO03LMwA= in a sort of over-defensive backlash against being treated like the weird， abnormal ones.

Many authors talk about how introverts are “more intelligent， more sensitive， more independent， more level-headed， more reflective， and more refined than extroverts，” however， a ton of quiet， introverted people that were dumb as bricks. It’s a lot easier to look smart when you don’t talk as much. On the other hand， there’s some virtue in being willing to take risks and say things that might be wrong， as long as you're brave enough to fess up to and correct your mistake afterward.

很明顯這個誤導(dǎo)性的猜想是一些安靜的人自己提出來的，有種防御反擊的味道，因為他們總是被人當(dāng)作怪胎或者不正常的人來對待。

許多作家會不吝贊美之詞來描述內(nèi)向的人，他們“比起外向的人如何聰明、敏感、獨立、冷靜，擅于反思并且有教養(yǎng)”。然而，有太多安靜內(nèi)向的人像根木頭一樣不愛說話。想要看起來比較聰明，少說話就比較容易給人留下這樣的印象。但從另個角度來說，愿意冒險大膽犯錯也是一種美德，只要你足夠勇敢能坦然承認(rèn)并在以后改正自己的錯誤。

二、安靜的人在生你

It’s suggested that quiet people may be mad at you or hate you， which is always a possibility， but this can also be a big misconception.

It turns out everyone has a different idea of what conveys a neutral or “baseline” attitude toward someone. Some people feel a smile is required， some people feel you should also say， “Hello，” and some people also feel you should ask， “How’s it going？” While for those quiet people， the “baseline” expression would be a smile.

很多人會覺得安靜的人是在生你的氣或者是恨你，當(dāng)然這是有可能的，但這也可能是一種誤解。

事實證明，每個人對如何表達(dá)中立或基準(zhǔn)態(tài)度都有不同的想法。有人覺得需要微笑，有人覺得需要說“你好”，有人覺得應(yīng)該問候下“最近過得怎么樣”。而對于那些安靜的人來說，一個微笑足矣。

三、安靜的人想一個人待著

A lot of times， being quiet tends to go hand-in-hand with not going to a lot of social events， leading people to believe the quiet person doesn’t like the company of other people.

Actually， most people have a pretty strong need for friends. Sometimes what looks like a person trying to be a hermit and avoid the world is someone who’s really just the same as anyone in terms of needing friends and company to get distractions， but just in different quantities.

在大部分人的印象中，安靜和不愛參加社交活動是分不開的，人們總是認(rèn)為安靜的人不喜歡人群。

事實上，大部分的人都有對朋友的強烈需求。想要做隱士逃避世界的人，有時候也需要朋友和陪伴來分散注意力，只是需求程度不同而已。

四、安靜的人缺乏自信

Most people fit quiet people into the “shy nerd” stereotype， where the quiet person is always intimidated by other people， or is afraid of being laughed at， or undervalues himself or herself.

A completely overconfident person （the silent kung fu master in movies） can be just as silent as an extremely under-confident one. And there are lots of other reasons that people of varying confidence levels might not feel like talking much. All kinds of different people have all kinds of different ideas of when they should and shouldn’t talk.

許多人把安靜的人歸類為“害羞的呆子”，覺得安靜的人總是容易被別人嚇到，或害怕被嘲笑，或低估自己。

超級自信的人（比如電影里少言寡語的功夫大師）也有可以跟完全不自信的人一樣安靜。很多人自信程度不同，可是他們都不愛說話，這是有很多其他原因的。對于什么時候該說什么時候不該說，不同的人有各種不同的觀點。

五、安靜的人缺乏社交能

The assumption here is that： quiet people are quiet because they don’t know what to say， or how to say it. They’d like to make jokes or make cleverly flirtatious comments about how young the host’s lovely wife looks， but they always come out awkward.

Being quiet isn’t either some form of autism， and commuication skills are not a real problem. They can be solved with just practice and common sense. Talkative people might learn communication skills by trial and error， but quiet people can learn them just as well by watching talkative people trying and erring. Not talking isn’t an excuse to not observe.

這個假設(shè)是這樣的：安靜的人之所以安靜是因為他們不知道說什么，或者怎么說。他們也想講笑話，也想奉承地贊揚下主人的妻子貌美年輕，他們就是嘴巴笨不會說。

安靜不是孤獨癥，溝通技巧也不是什么大問題，通過練習(xí)和常識就能解決。健談的人通過不斷練習(xí)和犯錯學(xué)會溝通技巧，安靜的人通過觀察健談的人練習(xí)和犯錯，同樣也能學(xué)會。不愛說話不代表不會觀察。

六、安靜的人在等你的幫助

There’s a common assumption that all quiet people really want to be talkative， but can’t be. They just lack confidence， or are really bad with words.

Actually， many quiet people are pretty comfortable with not talking very much， for various reasons other than having low self-confidence or bad social skills. Or at least they are comfortable until someone makes a point of how little they are talking and tries to awkwardly force them into spitting out more words for the sake of words.

Quiet people don’t usually appreciate the kind of “help” usually offered， which might involve suddenly putting them on the spot in a group conversation， or pretending one of the few things you know about them is suddenly a very interesting subject to you.

有個很常見的假設(shè)是安靜的人其實很想變得健談，他們只是不會說。他們?nèi)狈ψ孕牛灿锌赡苁钦娴淖熳尽?/p>

實際上，許多安靜的人都很享受自己講得不多這種自然狀態(tài)，而不是他們不夠自信或者社交能力差等這樣那樣的原因。不過他們這種狀態(tài)會被那些所謂的好心人破壞，這些人一針見血的指出他們很少講話的事實，甚至想要強迫他們?yōu)榱苏f話而說話。

安靜的人不欣賞這種幫助，他們不喜歡突然成為一群人談話的焦點，也不喜歡你用你對他們細(xì)枝末節(jié)的了解作話題。