賁蜀

賁 蜀

Funny Questions

1. What must you keep after giving it to someone else？

2. Who can stop a truck with one hand？

3. What are the strongest days of the week？

4. Where does Friday come before Thursday？

5. Which travels faster，heat or cold？

6. Why did he throw a clock out of the window？

7. When should you kick about a birthday present？

8. It is yours，but others use it more than you do. What is it ？

9. What room has no walls，no doors，no floors，and no windows？

10. How are a teacher and a railroad conductor （列車員）alike？

11. Why are we always tired（累） on the first of April？

12. What is the longest sentence in the world？

13. What is the difference between a hill and a pill（藥片）？

14. What part of a clock is always old？

15. What is the worst kind of fish？

16. What letter is a drink？

17. What letter is the ocean？

18. Which letter is the biggest in the English alphabet？

19. Which letter can be used to measure （測(cè)試）our eyesight？

20. What three letters mean twenty？鄄six letters？

21. What is the longest word in the English language？

22. What word can be seen if you jump into water？

23. What word can be seen if I？蒺m in the middle of the nose？

24. What word can be seen if he walks before art？

25. What word can be seen if everyone lost one？

26. What word can be seen if the day of Sunday passed？

27. What word is always pronounced wrong？

28. What starts with a T，ends with a T，and is full of T？

29. What is the end of everything？

30. What？蒺s the difference between here and there？

31. What goes up and never comes down？

32. What has a head and a foot but can？蒺t think or walk？

33. What gets bigger when you turn it upside down（顛倒）？

34. What wears a cap but has no head？

35. How can you spell “hard water” in three letters？

36. What is it that we often return but never borrow？

37. What always has one eye open but cannot see？

38. What season is dangerous？

39. What question can you never answer “yes”to？

40. How many sides does a house have？

KEY

1. Your word. 2. A policeman. 3. Saturday and Sunday. 4. In the dictionary. 5. Heat travels faster because you can catch cold. （catch cold 是短語“感冒”的意思） 6. Because he wanted to see time fly. （time flies 是短語“時(shí)間飛逝”的意思） 7. When someone gives you a football as a birthday present. 8. Your name. 9. Mushroom. 10. A teacher trains the mind （培育智能）and a railroad conductor minds the train （從事列車管理工作）. 11. Because we have just had a whole month of March. （march意為“長(zhǎng)途跋涉”. March “三月”，兩詞同形） 12. Prison for life （終生監(jiān)禁）. （sentence 是 “句子”，又可表示“判決、徒刑”） 13. A hill is hard to get up，a pill is hard to get down （呑下）. 14. The second hand. （second hand 是鐘表的“秒針，”又可表示“用過的，舊的”）

15. Selfish（自私的，利己的）. 16. T（tea）. 17. C（sea）. 18. C（sea）. 19. E. 20. ABC. 21. Smiles.（中間4個(gè)字母意為“英里”） 22. Waiter. （第三個(gè)字母去掉后為何詞？） 23. Noise. 24. Heart. 25. Every. 26. Sun. 27. Wrong. 28. Teapot （茶壺）. 29. The letter “g”. 30. The letter “t”. 31. Your age. 32. A hill. 33. The number 6. 34. A bottle. 35. Ice. 36. Thanks. （return thanks 意為“答謝”） 37. A needle. 38. Fall（=autumn）. 39. “Are you asleep？” 40. Two—inside and outside.

楊 薇

JOKES

Little Tom：Grandma，I had an interesting dream last night.

Grandma：Can you tell me what the dream was？

Little Tom：No，grandma，you ask me while you know the answer because you were there then，too.

Patient：Is there anything serious with my trouble，Docter？

Docter：Yes，very serious. Your illness is too serious to cure（治愈）. Now tell me，please. Who do you want to see now before you die？

patient：I want to see another doctor.

Boy：I？蒺m very clever. No one can cheat（騙）me.

Man：No one can really cheat you？

Boy：Of course. I？蒺m cleverer than any of you.

Man：Don？蒺t be proud！I will find a man and he can cheat you.

Boy：I don？蒺t believe.

Man：You just wait here. Don？蒺t move. I will go and bring him here.（The man went away. The boy waited and waited but nobody came. At last he knew he had been cheated.）

Nobleman （貴族）：Mr Shaw （肖伯納），I see you are so thin. Now I understand why there is a famine （饑荒）in Africa.

Mr Shaw：（with a smile） Yes，you are right！ But when people see you，they will know the reason for the famine.

Son：Father，I want to be an eye doctor when I grow up.

Father：How foolish you are，my child. You should become a dentist（牙醫(yī)）.

Son：Why？

Father：Because each person has only two eyes，but thirty？鄄two teeth.

Dentist：Dear lady，I just pulled out a tooth of your son. Please pay me twenty？鄄five pounds.

Mother：Why should I pay you twenty？鄄five pounds？You pull out one tooth，and I will pay you five pounds.

Dentist：Yes. But when I was pulling out the tooth of your son，he cried out aloud，and four other patients were afraid and ran away.

A little boy went to the dentist. “Doctor，” he said. “I have a terrible toothache.”

The dentist examined his teeth and decided to pull the bad one out.

When the operation （手術(shù)）was over，the boy asked the dentist to let him have that tooth.

“What do you want it for？”the dentist asked.

“I？蒺m going to take it home，fill it with sugar and watch it ache！” the boy said hatefully（憎恨）.

Frank had just got a new doorbell，but nobody seemed to notice it. When his friends came，they knocked at the door heavily. Frank was not happy about it.

One day a friend came to see Frank. He was knocking at the door loudly. Frank came to the door but did not open it. He shouted at the visitor from inside，“I can？蒺t hear you！ Please use the doorbell！”

The champion （冠軍） athlete caught a very bad cold. He felt dizzy（頭暈）and had to stay in bed. The doctor came to see him.“You have a high fever （發(fā)燒），” said the doctor after taking his temperature（溫度）.

“How high is that，doctor？”the athlete murmured（低聲說）.

“40℃”，said the doctor.

“Well”，asked the athlete without opening his eyes，“What？蒺s the world record？”

Tom，aged five，was watching his grandpa playing（擺弄）with his false tooth （假牙），taking it down，washing and fixin（安上）it again. He saw his grandpa doing that again and again，with full interest. At last Tom asked his grandpa，“Well，why not take down your nose？”

A man happily hands his daughter the last check（支票） to be delivered（轉(zhuǎn)交）to his ex？鄄wife（前妻）as the last payment （支付）for the alimony （生活費(fèi)），considering（考慮到）the girl had just turned（剛剛超過）eighteen. He then tells his daughter，“Honey，please tell me what she says when she learns she will not get one more penny from me.”

The next day his daughter calls him and says，“She asked me to tell you thanks for the checks and that you are not my father.”