就像任何地方的所有人一樣，英國人也夢想著贏得成堆的奧運獎牌。但如果其他國家的運動員碰巧再次卷走大部分金牌，英國人也深諳自我安慰之道。

他們會走進酒吧，叫一杯啤酒，反復(fù)回味這件事情——如果不是因為他們，半數(shù)運動項目壓根不會存在。英國人有一種莫名其妙的想法，認為地球上大多數(shù)最好看的比賽都是他們發(fā)明的。好吧，或許不是由他們直接發(fā)明，而是由他們熱愛運動的祖先發(fā)明的——在舉杯暢飲和治理大英帝國之余，祖先們需要休息片刻，便尋找一些有益身心的事情來做。

英國人自稱由他們發(fā)明的運動能列出長得出人意料的清單，單子上包括網(wǎng)球、曲棍球、足球、羽毛球、高爾夫球、壁球和現(xiàn)代拳擊等。

眾所周知，中國人擅長打乒乓球。他們在奧運會乒乓球項目贏得的金牌數(shù)量遠遠超過其他國家。然而，假如你認為中國人發(fā)明了這項運動，英國人會馬上糾正你。他們會指出，乒乓球始于一項飯后游戲，維多利亞時期的紳士們抽著雪茄，用香檳酒的軟木塞當(dāng)作球，用書當(dāng)作球網(wǎng)和球拍，在餐桌上玩這種游戲。他們把這種游戲叫做“乒乓球（wiff waff）”。

一些英國人甚至認為英國發(fā)明了棒球：人們在英格蘭發(fā)現(xiàn)了一本有260年歷史的日記，其中有一段描述，寫到一個小孩在玩游戲，聽起來與這項偉大的運動有點相似。

他們的發(fā)明還不止這兩種呢。他們還深信英國是現(xiàn)代奧運會的發(fā)祥地。在英格蘭鄉(xiāng)村的中心——一個叫什羅普郡的地方，有一個叫馬奇溫洛克的小集鎮(zhèn)。那里的小旅館及歪歪斜斜的房子可以追溯到中世紀(jì)。

在19世紀(jì)中期，當(dāng)?shù)赜幸晃煌づ砟帷げ剪斂怂贯t(yī)生。布魯克斯是一名運動狂，他相信運動有益于心靈、身體和靈魂，下至農(nóng)夫，上至地方鄉(xiāng)紳，每個人都應(yīng)該參與其中。因此，他舉辦了馬奇溫洛克奧運會。

運動會由隊伍穿越小鎮(zhèn)開始，領(lǐng)頭的是一組樂隊——這或許就是今天奧運會開幕式的雛形。運動會上有獨輪手推車賽跑、唱歌和套環(huán)項目（又一項古英國發(fā)明，需要拋出一段繩子或一塊馬蹄鐵）。小鎮(zhèn)的居民會沿著跑道奔跑，拋起一塊大石?，F(xiàn)在的馬奇溫洛克每年依然會舉辦自己的奧運會，不過運動項目已經(jīng)不一樣了。

就像他的運動熱情一樣，布魯克斯對古希臘同樣很有興趣。他開始寫信炮轟希臘政府，力勸其在雅典重新舉辦奧運會。最后，布魯克斯得到了一位熱衷于運動的法國男爵的支持。這位男爵興致勃勃地接手布魯克斯的事業(yè)，并成功說服了希臘人。

1896年，在布魯克斯死后四個月，第一屆現(xiàn)代夏季奧運會在雅典舉行。接下來的事情就人盡皆知了。

隨著今年奧運會的臨近，英國人已經(jīng)沉浸在他們發(fā)明的運動之中。在一本新書里，倫敦市長鮑里斯·約翰遜夸耀說，這些運動顯示了英國與其他國家的本質(zhì)區(qū)別。約翰遜說，其他國家的人——比如法國人看到餐桌，只會想到用餐；而富有發(fā)明天分的英國人看到同樣的餐桌，則玩起了乒乓球（wiff waff）。

我知道，我知道——真是了不起。但是，在借酒消愁之時，我們不都需要有一點依托聊以慰藉嗎？

Like everyone， everywhere， the British are dreaming of winning piles of Olympic medals. But if other athletes from other nations happen to run off with the lions share[最大的一份] of the golds again， the Brits will know how to console[安慰] themselves. Theyll head for the pub， order a beer， and ruminate[反復(fù)思考] on the fact that half of these sports wouldnt even exist if it wasnt for them. Theres a curious conviction[深信] among the British， that the best games on this planet were invented by them. Well， maybe not by them directly； by their sporty ancestors[祖先]， looking for something wholesome[有益身心的] to do when they needed a break from drinking and running the British Empire.

The list of sports the Brits say they created is surprisingly long. It includes tennis， field hockey， soccer， badminton， golf， squash[壁球] and modern boxing.

Everyone knows the Chinese are the masters of ping pong. Theyve won far more Olympic gold medals than anyone else. Yet， if you suggest they invented that sport， the British will swiftly[很快地] put you straight. Theyll point out it began as an after-dinner game， played on the dinner table by cigar-puffing[噴出] Victorian gentlemen， using a champagne[香檳] cork[軟木塞] as the ball， and books as the net and paddles[球拍]. They called it wiff waff.

Some Brits even suggested this nation invented baseball， after a 260-year-old diary surfaced in England， containing a description of a kid， playing something that sounded a little like that great game.

Theres more. The British also firmly believe Britain is the birthplace of the modern Olympics. In the heart of rural England—in a county called Shropshire—lies the little market town of Much Wenlock. Its inns[旅館] and crooked[彎曲的] houses go back to medieval[中世紀(jì)的] times.

In the mid-19th century， the local doctor was a man called William Penny Brookes. Brookes was a passionate[充滿熱情的] believer that sports good for mind， body and soul， and that everyone should be allowed a crack[嘗試] at it， from farm hands to the local gentry[鄉(xiāng)紳]. So he organized the Much Wenlock Olympics.

The games began with a procession[行列，隊伍] through town， led by a band—the model， perhaps， for todays opening ceremony[儀式]. There were wheelbarrow[獨輪手推車] races， singing， and quoits[擲鐵環(huán)游戲]—another Old English invention that involved throwing a piece of rope or a horseshoe. Townsfolk ran around a track， and tossed[投，擲] a big rock. Much Wenlock still holds its Olympics annually[一年一次]， though with different sports.

Brookes was as interested in ancient Greece as he was in sports. He began to bombard[炮轟] the Greek government with letters， urging[力勸] it to revive[（使）復(fù)興] the Olympic Games in Athens. Eventually， Brookes recruited[征募] the support of a sports-mad French baron注 who took up his cause[事業(yè)] with gusto[由衷的高興] and won the Greeks around.

In 1896， the first modern Summer Olympics were held in Athens， four months after Brookes died. The rest is history.

As this years games approach[接近]， the British are already reveling[陶醉] in all their sporting inventions. In a new book， the Mayor of London， Boris Johnson， boasts[自夸] that these reveal[顯示] the essential[本質(zhì)的] difference between Britain and the rest of the world. The people of other nations， like the French， looked at a dining table and merely saw the opportunity to have dinner， says Johnson. The ingenious[有獨創(chuàng)性的] British looked at the same table and played wiff waff.

I know， I know—big deal. But dont we all need something to hang onto[緊緊抓住] when were weeping into our beer？