3 JANUARY 2009: I AM AFRAID

“I had a terrible dream yesterday with military helicopters and the Taliban. I have had such dreams since the launch of the military operation in Swat. I was afraid going to school because the Taliban had issued an edict(法令，布告) banning all girls from attending schools. Only 11 students attended the class out of 27. The number decreased(減少，降低) because of Talibans edict.

“On my way from school to home I heard a man saying ‘I will kill you. I hastened my pace... to my utter relief he was talking on his mobile and must have been threatening someone else over the phone.”

5 JANUARY 2009: DO NOT WEAR COLOURFUL DRESSES

“I was getting ready for school and about to wear my uniform when I remembered that our principal(校長(zhǎng)，負(fù)責(zé)人) had told us not to wear uniforms and come to school wearing normal clothes instead.

“So I decided to wear my favourite pink dress. Other girls in school were also wearing colourful dresses. During the morning assembly(集會(huì)，集合) we were told not to wear colourful clothes as the Taliban would object to it.”

14 JANUARY 2009: I MAY NOT GO TO SCHOOL AGAIN

“I was in a bad mood while going to school because winter vacations are starting from tomorrow. The principal announced the vacations but did not mention the date the school was to reopen.

“The girls were not too excited about vacations because they knew if the Taliban implemented(貫徹，實(shí)施) their edict [banning girls education] they would not be able to come to school again. I am of the view that the school will one day reopen but while leaving I looked at the building as if I would not come here again.”

15 JANUARY 2009: NIGHT FILLED WITH ARTILLERY FIRE

“The night was filled with the noise of artillery(炮的總稱(chēng)) fire and I woke up three times. But since there was no school I got up later at 10am. Afterwards, my friend came over and we discussed our homework. Today is the last day before the Talibans edict comes into effect, and my friend was discussing homework as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened.

“Today, I also read my diary written for the BBC in Urdu. My mother liked my pen name Gul Makai. I also like the name because my real name means ‘grief stricken.

My father said that some days ago someone brought the printout of this diary saying how wonderful it was. My father said that he smiled but could not even say that it was written by his daughter. ”