美國(guó)作家約翰·肖爾斯(John Shors)曾在日本教授多年的英語(yǔ)課程,游歷過(guò)亞洲多個(gè)國(guó)家和地區(qū),還攀上了喜馬拉雅山。他把腳印留在了亞洲、南太平洋、歐洲以及北美,可謂是一位不折不扣的旅行家。他將自己的游歷融入作品,致力于以文字給予人們治愈心靈的力量,他的《許愿樹(shù)》(The Wishing Trees)便被譽(yù)為“心靈治愈系小說(shuō)”。約翰還著有另外三部小說(shuō),分別為《大理石天空下》(Beneath a Marble Sky)、《燃燒的海邊》(Beside a Burning Sea)、《龍屋》(Dragon House),它們已被翻譯成25種語(yǔ)言出版。
《許愿樹(shù)》中,妻子凱特病逝后,伊恩身陷巨大的悲痛無(wú)法自拔。凱特的離開(kāi)仿佛帶走了他生命中所有亮麗的顏色和悅耳的聲音,除了十歲的女兒瑪?shù)佟H欢數(shù)儆袝r(shí)對(duì)伊恩而言只不過(guò)是更大的折磨,因?yàn)樗佳壑g的獨(dú)特韻致、她的言談舉止思維方式,甚至她微笑的樣子都像極了凱特。在凱特離開(kāi)后漫長(zhǎng)的十個(gè)月里,伊恩面對(duì)瑪?shù)?,不由更加思念凱特,始終無(wú)法走出失去愛(ài)妻的悲痛。直到有一天,伊恩打開(kāi)凱特留下的禮物盒,發(fā)現(xiàn)凱特留給他的一封信。信中,凱特懇求伊恩帶著他們的女兒去開(kāi)始一場(chǎng)跨國(guó)之旅,將那些他們年輕時(shí)候游歷過(guò)的地方重新走一遍。她還給伊恩和瑪?shù)俜謩e留下了幾個(gè)編好號(hào)的膠卷筒,讓他們到了相應(yīng)的目的地再打開(kāi)。
為了完成凱特的遺愿,伊恩帶著瑪?shù)匍_(kāi)始了旅行。每到達(dá)一個(gè)國(guó)度,凱特膠卷筒中的信都會(huì)適時(shí)給伊恩和瑪?shù)傧鄳?yīng)的鼓勵(lì),就好像她一直陪在他們身邊,一直注視著他們一樣。這場(chǎng)旅行的意義究竟為何?終點(diǎn)又會(huì)在哪里?
下文節(jié)選自第二章。
Ian reached into his pocket and removed two black film canisters1). Both had \"Japan\" written on them in gold-colored permanent marker2). One carried his name, the other Mattie's. \"Here you go, luv3),\" Ian said, handing Mattie her canister.
\"Maybe you should read your first.\"
\"No worries, Roo4). You go ahead. I'll wait.\"
Mattie nodded. Her fingers, darkened from the colored pencils, pulled the gray top off her canister. Inside was a narrow but long piece of paper that had been rolled up like a little scroll. Mattie studied the paper, her heart thumping5) faster. She didn't know what she hoped her mother would say, or even if it were possible for her mother to say anything that would make her feel better. Her colored fingers trembling, she unrolled the paper and squinted6) at the small, elegant words.
伊恩把手伸進(jìn)口袋,拿出了兩個(gè)黑色的膠卷筒。這兩個(gè)筒上都用金色永久性記號(hào)筆寫(xiě)著“日本”,一個(gè)膠卷筒上面寫(xiě)著他的名字,另一個(gè)上面寫(xiě)著瑪?shù)俚拿??!敖o你,寶貝?!币炼饕贿呎f(shuō),一邊把寫(xiě)著瑪?shù)倜值哪z卷筒遞給她。
“也許你該先看看你那個(gè)?!?/p>
“別擔(dān)心,小袋鼠。你先看,我等著你?!?/p>
瑪?shù)冱c(diǎn)了點(diǎn)頭。她用被彩色鉛筆弄得臟乎乎的手指拔開(kāi)膠卷筒上的灰色蓋子。筒里是一張又窄又長(zhǎng)的紙,被卷成了一個(gè)小卷。瑪?shù)僮屑?xì)看了看那張紙,她的心怦怦地跳得更快了。她不知道自己希望媽媽在信里寫(xiě)些什么,甚至不知道媽媽的話是不是可能會(huì)令她感覺(jué)好受一些。她用自己那染上顏色的手指顫抖著將紙卷慢慢打開(kāi),然后瞇起眼睛盯著那些娟秀的小字。
My Lovely Little Lady,
If you're reading this note, then I know you've gone on our trip, the trip that we were planning before I got sick. I'm so proud of you for going, Mattie. I know that it won't be easy. I haven't walked the road that you are walking, but I can imagine how it might be.
Now, as I lay here, I am imagining your sketches, your freckles, the way you can laugh as if everyone in the world were tickling7) you. I imagine everything about you. And when I think of you, I think of goodness, of a girl who makes me smile, both as a mother and as a fellow human being. I don't believe I've met anyone, Mattie, who has your heart. You're so young, yet you already know how to share your compassion, how to share yourself. You're far beyond your years when it comes to sharing, to so many things.
I love you so much. I loved you from the moment I felt you growing inside me—a miracle that I held in my belly8) and then in my hands. I've always loved you, and I always will. Some things might have been stolen from me, but my love for you is not one of these. It is without end.
Would you do something for me, Mattie? There is a trail9) behind the apartment in Kyoto where your daddy and I lived. This trail was created by monks two thousand years ago. It's beautiful and spiritual. We walked it almost every day we lived in Japan. I still walk it in my mind. Will you please take your daddy's hand and walk it with me? I'll be right beside you. You won't see me or hear me, but I'll be there.
And then, when you reach the top of the mountain and look down on Kyoto, will you do something else for me? The Japanese have an old tradition of writing their wishes on a piece of paper and tying that paper to a tree so that their wishes or prayers might come true. I remember seeing hundreds, maybe thousands, of white notes attached to sacred trees in Kyoto. The Japanese call these \"wishing trees,\" and they are as lovely and powerful as anything you'll see.
Please write down a wish, and tie it to a tree that overlooks Kyoto. I'll read your wish and do my best to make it come true. Ask for something fun, for yourself. And maybe also leave a drawing for me to look at. That would be wonderful, Mattie. That would make me so happy. Wish for something beautiful and draw something beautiful, and know that I'll read your words and see what you've created. I'll be smiling, wherever I am. And I'll love you as much as I always have.
Mommy
我親愛(ài)的小淑女:
如果你正在讀這封信,我就知道你已經(jīng)開(kāi)始了我們的旅行。在我生病之前,我和你爸爸就已經(jīng)在計(jì)劃這次旅行了。瑪?shù)?,你能邁出這一步,我為你感到很自豪。我知道這并不容易。你現(xiàn)在走的這條路,我并沒(méi)有走過(guò),但我能想象出路上的樣子。
現(xiàn)在,我躺在這里,腦子里想著你畫(huà)的那些畫(huà),想著你臉上的小雀斑,想著你笑起來(lái)的樣子,笑得那么開(kāi)心,就好像世界上所有人都在撓你癢癢似的。我想象著關(guān)于你的一切。想你的時(shí)候,我想到的是你的善良,是那個(gè)令我——不管是作為一個(gè)母親還是一個(gè)普通人——都忍不住微笑的小女孩?,?shù)?,我相信自己從未?jiàn)過(guò)誰(shuí)有你那樣純真善良的心靈。你還這么小,卻已經(jīng)知道如何理解他人的痛苦,知道如何與他人分享自己擁有的幸福。你對(duì)分享的理解,還有你對(duì)許多事情的理解,都遠(yuǎn)遠(yuǎn)超出了你的年齡。
我是如此愛(ài)你。從我感覺(jué)到你在我身體里慢慢孕育長(zhǎng)大那一刻起,我就愛(ài)上了你——你是一個(gè)我養(yǎng)在腹中、后來(lái)又抱在手里的奇跡。我一直都愛(ài)你,也將永遠(yuǎn)愛(ài)你。我的一些東西可能被奪走了,但我對(duì)你的愛(ài)卻不在此列。我會(huì)永遠(yuǎn)愛(ài)你。
你能為我做件事嗎,瑪?shù)??你爸爸和我曾?jīng)在京都住過(guò),我們住的那間公寓后面有一條山路。那條路是2000年前僧侶們修建的,路修得漂亮而富有宗教色彩。住在日本那段時(shí)間,我們幾乎每天都會(huì)在那條路上走一走?,F(xiàn)在我還經(jīng)常在腦海中想象自己在那條路上行走。你能不能牽著爸爸的手,和我一起去那條路上走一走?我會(huì)陪在你身邊。你不會(huì)看見(jiàn)我,也不會(huì)聽(tīng)到我的聲音,但我就在你身邊。
然后,當(dāng)你們到達(dá)山頂俯瞰整個(gè)京都時(shí),你能再為我做件事嗎?日本人有一個(gè)古老的傳統(tǒng):他們把自己的愿望寫(xiě)在一張紙上,將那張紙系在一棵樹(shù)上,希望他們的愿望和祈禱都能夠成真。我記得曾看見(jiàn)成百上千、也許成千上萬(wàn)的白色紙條系在京都的那些圣樹(shù)上。日本人稱這些樹(shù)為“許愿樹(shù)”,你會(huì)看到,這些大樹(shù)都非常漂亮,非常雄偉。
請(qǐng)寫(xiě)下一個(gè)愿望,把它系在一顆能俯瞰京都的大樹(shù)上。我會(huì)讀到你的愿望,盡我最大的努力令你的愿望成真。為你自己許一些有趣的愿望,或者你還可以留一幅畫(huà)給我看。那樣的話就太好了,瑪?shù)?。那?huì)讓我非常開(kāi)心的。許一些美好的愿望,畫(huà)一些漂亮的畫(huà),要知道,我會(huì)看到你許的愿望,也會(huì)看到你畫(huà)的畫(huà)。無(wú)論我在哪里,我都會(huì)很高興。我會(huì)像以前一樣愛(ài)你。
媽媽
Mattie bit her lower lip, trying not to cry. She brought the paper to her face, holding it against her cheek. She shuddered, still remaining silent, but powerless to keep her tears at bay. Perhaps a time would come when she wasn't so often on the verge of10) tears, but that that time wasn't now, not when, even with her father beside her, she felt so alone. She missed her mother so much that sometimes she felt as if she had died as well. Parts of her certainly had.
Her father kissed her on the forehead, drawing her tight against him. She could see that he was also crying, not because he'd opened his note, but because she had reacted to hers. He kissed her again and again, and she wrapped her arms around him and quietly wept. He whispered in her ear of his love for her. And his words helped. Sometimes he knew what to say. When she felt his scratchy11) face against hers and heard the sorrow in his whispers, she understood that he shared her feelings, and somehow this shared pain made her feel better. As the bullet train continued to dart12) to the east, her tears and shudders stopped.
\"I love you, Daddy,\" she whispered.
瑪?shù)僖е伦齑?,極力讓自己忍住不哭。她把紙條拿到臉旁,緊緊貼在臉頰上。她渾身顫抖,仍舊一言不發(fā),但這時(shí)卻已無(wú)力控制自己的淚水,任其奪眶而出。也許會(huì)有那么一個(gè)時(shí)期,她不會(huì)像現(xiàn)在這樣動(dòng)不動(dòng)就失控流淚,但那一定不是現(xiàn)在,因?yàn)楝F(xiàn)在,即便爸爸就在她身邊,她仍然覺(jué)得那么無(wú)依無(wú)靠。她太想念媽媽了,有時(shí)她甚至覺(jué)得自己也早已隨媽媽死去了,她心里的某個(gè)部分確實(shí)也已經(jīng)死去了。
爸爸吻了吻她的額頭,把她拉到懷里,緊緊摟著?,?shù)倏吹靡?jiàn)爸爸也在流淚,爸爸流淚并不是因?yàn)樗呀?jīng)打開(kāi)了媽媽寫(xiě)給他的那封信,而是因?yàn)樗x完那封信之后的反應(yīng)。他一遍又一遍地吻著瑪?shù)伲數(shù)僖采斐鲭p臂摟住爸爸,默默地流著眼淚。爸爸在她耳邊輕聲告訴她,他有多么愛(ài)她。他溫柔的話語(yǔ)讓瑪?shù)俑械胶檬芤恍┝恕S袝r(shí)他知道該說(shuō)什么來(lái)安慰他的女兒?,?shù)俑械桨职趾永甑哪樫N著自己的臉,也聽(tīng)出了他那些輕言細(xì)語(yǔ)中的悲傷,這時(shí),瑪?shù)俨琶靼装职趾退粯油纯?,不知怎地這讓她感到好受了些。此時(shí),高速列車(chē)?yán)^續(xù)向東飛速前行,她漸漸平靜下來(lái),不再流淚,也不再顫抖。
“我愛(ài)你,爸爸?!彼吐曊f(shuō)道。
《許愿樹(shù)》以典型的游記方式寫(xiě)成,沒(méi)有復(fù)雜的時(shí)空結(jié)構(gòu),也沒(méi)有太多的閃回和回憶。故事以時(shí)間為線索,以不同國(guó)家的經(jīng)歷為章節(jié),以凱特的信為每一個(gè)章節(jié)的中心思想,非常直觀明晰地描寫(xiě)了伊恩和瑪?shù)龠@對(duì)父女在痛失至親后微妙的心理變化。
對(duì)于主人公伊恩而言,他對(duì)凱特的愛(ài)是無(wú)可比擬的。他們?cè)谌毡窘逃⑽牡臅r(shí)候相識(shí),然后相戀,并生下女兒瑪?shù)?。伊恩為了治好凱特的病,拼命賺錢(qián),遍尋名醫(yī),最終依然未能挽回妻子的生命。他對(duì)此心懷愧疚,但讓他不明白并且感到不自在的是凱特在膠卷筒中留給他的那些信。一方面,它們一如既往地流淌著凱特對(duì)他深深的愛(ài);另一方面,凱特信中的一個(gè)個(gè)要求似乎又一次次觸痛他的神經(jīng):愛(ài)上另一個(gè)人,開(kāi)展一段新生活,甚至是讓瑪?shù)儆幸粋€(gè)妹妹。凱特刻意安排父女的旅程,從最初他們相識(shí)相知的日本,到最后經(jīng)歷了戰(zhàn)爭(zhēng)與死亡的印度,每一個(gè)目的地的順序其實(shí)是不可更改的。小說(shuō)并沒(méi)有一味地描述伊恩和瑪?shù)俚男睦碜兓鸵谎砸恍校吹挂钥陀^的記述,通過(guò)描寫(xiě)父女倆遇到的人和經(jīng)歷的事,讓讀者自己去細(xì)細(xì)體會(huì)父女倆內(nèi)心深處點(diǎn)點(diǎn)滴滴的變化。
在日本,他們和一群小學(xué)生上了一堂英文課,遇到了和瑪?shù)僖粯邮ビH人的老師亞紀(jì)子。亞紀(jì)子老師對(duì)瑪?shù)僬f(shuō):“生命如季節(jié)變換,從春到夏,從秋到冬,慢慢輪回,正如歡笑和淚水并存,幸福與痛苦同在。現(xiàn)在你處在生命中的冬季,但是無(wú)論積雪有多深,冬天過(guò)后總是春天?!彪m然瑪?shù)俨⒉荒芡耆靼走@段話的意義,但這番話無(wú)疑給“寒冬”中的瑪?shù)賻チ艘唤z暖意。
在尼泊爾,他們和三個(gè)女孩一同攀登高山,她們看上去永遠(yuǎn)是那么開(kāi)心、那么自信、那么堅(jiān)強(qiáng),也沒(méi)有任何不自在,即使面對(duì)近在咫尺的懸崖,她們也沒(méi)有表現(xiàn)出絲毫的擔(dān)心和害怕,就算她們?cè)?jīng)愛(ài)的人已經(jīng)離世,她們?nèi)匀槐3种贻p向上的心態(tài)。這一點(diǎn)令瑪?shù)偕钍苡|動(dòng),并在心里暗下決定,也要努力這樣。
在泰國(guó),他們看到了很多的佛像,媽媽凱特在給瑪?shù)俚男胖羞@樣寫(xiě)道:“你知道佛祖是怎么說(shuō)快樂(lè)的嗎?‘一支蠟燭可以點(diǎn)燃成千上萬(wàn)支蠟燭。所以蠟燭的一生不會(huì)是短暫的。與人分享快樂(lè),那么快樂(lè)就永遠(yuǎn)不會(huì)減少?!谀愕纳校行┤艘矔?huì)點(diǎn)亮你的蠟燭,瑪?shù)?。我知道,你也?huì)拿著你的蠟燭去點(diǎn)亮別人。你會(huì)再次歡樂(lè)起來(lái),你會(huì)分享那種歡樂(lè)?!币炼骱同?shù)贈(zèng)]有讓凱特失望,他們奮力救出了一位誤入歧途的當(dāng)?shù)厣倥?,將自己的快?lè)傳遞給了她。
在印度,伊恩甚至花了數(shù)千美元,只為幫助一位素昧平生的小男孩。他和瑪?shù)俣荚谏眢w力行,努力幫助著那些需要幫助的人,只因?yàn)閯P特信中的那一句“如果你能幫助其他人找到快樂(lè),那么你也就一定能找到快樂(lè)”。離開(kāi)印度的時(shí)候,那個(gè)小男孩感謝伊恩和瑪?shù)僮屗玫搅恕爸厣薄,數(shù)僖蚕搿爸厣保M幸惶煨褋?lái),一切都會(huì)不同,一切都和以前不一樣。
在中國(guó)香港,伊恩應(yīng)凱特信中的要求,帶瑪?shù)偃ヒ?jiàn)了他們的朋友:現(xiàn)在已經(jīng)是單身媽媽的喬治婭和她的女兒霍莉。他們四個(gè)人相處愉快,但這一次,伊恩卻無(wú)法做到凱特在信中的要求,和喬治婭在一起,盡管凱特在信中反復(fù)強(qiáng)調(diào)“它并不意味著背叛,或是屈服,只會(huì)讓我們都更加堅(jiān)強(qiáng)”。在凱特的鼓勵(lì)和支持下,他們四人相約一同去越南。
在越南這個(gè)充滿災(zāi)難和死亡的國(guó)家,凱特在給瑪?shù)俚男胖嘘U釋了她對(duì)于“死亡”的理解:“我們的死亡并不是結(jié)束,只要我們的力量可以在孩子們、在后輩們的身上延續(xù)。因?yàn)樗麄兙褪俏覀?,我們的肉體只不過(guò)是生命之樹(shù)上枯萎的葉子。”這番話就像是一劑強(qiáng)心針,令瑪?shù)僭谀慷媚切?zāi)難和死亡時(shí)不再那么害怕。她也堅(jiān)信,媽媽對(duì)她的愛(ài)就像冬天深埋在泥土里的種子,一到春天就會(huì)發(fā)芽。所以她要努力正視死亡,努力讓自己盡快離開(kāi)生命中的冬天,迎接春天,重新感受到媽媽的愛(ài)。
伊恩和瑪?shù)僮詈笕チ税<?。但這個(gè)目的地不再是凱特精心安排的,而是在凱特鼓勵(lì)下父女倆自己做的決定。在這里,伊恩和瑪?shù)俨患s而同地發(fā)現(xiàn),他們看到美景時(shí),不再僅僅想和凱特分享,也想和喬治婭還有霍莉一起分享。而凱特寫(xiě)給伊恩的最后一封信中,恰恰給了他最后的鼓勵(lì):“我希望看到你的重生。帶著記憶,帶著歡樂(lè),帶著希望。記住……愛(ài)是不受馴服的狂野,是奔涌向前的河流,是永不反悔的承諾。我愛(ài)你?!?/p>
這一路上,凱特仿佛一直都知道伊恩和瑪?shù)俚南敕?,也仿佛一開(kāi)始就設(shè)想好了結(jié)局。當(dāng)伊恩猶豫不決、躊躇不前的時(shí)候,凱特總是能給他全部的鼓勵(lì)和無(wú)條件的支持。也正是凱特的支持才讓伊恩最終決定,要遵從內(nèi)心最真實(shí)的想法和瑪?shù)俚男脑?,回到香港,到喬治婭和霍莉身邊,重新尋回幸福。那么伊恩和瑪?shù)僖宦飞嫌袥](méi)有努力完成凱特的心愿?在他們所到的每一個(gè)國(guó)家,瑪?shù)俣紩?huì)尋找一棵“許愿樹(shù)”,掛上自己畫(huà)給凱特的畫(huà),并許下美好的愿望。當(dāng)瑪?shù)儆杏職馀郎蠘?shù)時(shí),便意味著她已經(jīng)能重新面對(duì)和接受這一切。伊恩呢?直到最后,他才終于爬上了自己的許愿樹(shù),許下自己的愿望,令自己得到了重生,為這次旅行畫(huà)上了一個(gè)完美的句號(hào)。因?yàn)樗K于明白,他對(duì)凱特的愛(ài)不應(yīng)該是羈絆他前行的鎖鏈,而早已成了他身體的一部分,不論他走到哪里,不論他在誰(shuí)身邊,這份愛(ài)都永遠(yuǎn)不會(huì)消失。而他和瑪?shù)俚墓适?,也?huì)像一條奔涌不息的河流,遠(yuǎn)不會(huì)消失,遠(yuǎn)不會(huì)結(jié)束。
1.canister [#712;kaelig;n#618;st#601;(r)] n. (尤指放茶葉、糖、咖啡等之類(lèi)的)小罐,小盒
2.permanent marker: 永久性記號(hào)筆,即通常所說(shuō)的油性馬克筆,寫(xiě)出來(lái)的字很難擦掉。
3.luv [l#652;v] n. <英口> = love [l#652;v] n. 親愛(ài)的(夫妻、情侶之間或?qū)⒆拥姆Q呼)
4.Roo: 原為澳洲袋鼠,此處指伊恩對(duì)瑪?shù)俚年欠Q“小袋鼠”。
5.thump [θ#652;mp] vi. (心)怦怦直跳
6.squint [skw#618;nt] vi. 瞇著眼看
7.tickle [#712;t#618;kl] vt. 輕觸使覺(jué)得癢;呵……癢;使有癢感
8.belly [#712;beli] n. 子宮
9.trail [tre#618;l] n. (荒野中踩出的)小道,小徑;(山林間的)崎嶇小路