麥克·莫波格(Michael Morpurgo),英國最暢銷小說家之一,生于1943年,在倫敦國王學院學習英文與法文后,便開始在小學任教。莫波格30歲開始出書,迄今為止出版作品百余部,得獎無數,其作品曾被翻拍成電影、電視劇、舞臺劇甚至歌劇。2003年,莫波格榮獲英國“童書桂冠作家”稱號?!陡涕倥c檸檬啊》(Private Peaceful)寫于2003年,莫波格僅用八小時就完成了這部震撼人心的小說。自出版后,該小說接連榮獲大獎,包括2003年英國卡內基文學獎(Carnegie Medal)、2004年英國紅書屋兒童文學獎(Red House Children's Book Award)、2005年英國藍彼得年度圖書獎(Blue Peter Book of the Year Award)、 2008年美國加利福尼亞青年讀者獎(California Young Reader Medal)等。
下文選自小說倒數第二章。
精彩片段
Five to Five
Sixty-five minutes to go. How shall I live them? Shall I try to sleep? It would be useless to try. Should I eat a hearty1) breakfast? I don't want it. Shall I scream and shout? What would be the point? Shall I pray? Why? What for? Who to?
No. They will do what they will do. Field Marshal Haig is God out here, and Haig has signed. Haig has confirmed the sentence. He has decreed2) that Private Peaceful will die, will be shot for cowardice3) in the face of the enemy at six o'clock on the morning of the twenty-fifth of June 1916.
The firing squad4) will be having their breakfast by now, sipping their tea, hating what they will have to do. No one has told me where exactly it will happen. I don't want it to be in some dark prison yard with grey walls all around. I want it to be where there is sky and clouds and trees, and birds. It will be easier if there are birds.5) And let it be quickly over. Please let it be quickly over.
It is a stable—and it still smells like it—with a table and two chairs, a bucket in the corner, and a bed along one wall. Charlie is lying on his back, hands under his head, legs crossed. He sits up as soon as he sees me, and smiles broadly. \"I hoped you'd come, Tommo,\" he says. \"I didn't think they'd let you. How is your head? All mended?\"
\"Good as new,\" I tell him, trying to respond in kind6) to his cheeriness. And then we're standing there hugging one another, and I can't help myself.
\"I want no tears, Tommo,\" he whispers in my ear. \"This is going to be difficult enough without tears.\" He holds me at arm's length7). \"Understand?\"
I can do no more than nod.
He has had a letter from home, from Molly8), which he must read out to me, he says, because it makes him laugh and he needs to laugh. It's mostly about little Tommo9). Molly writes that he's already learning to blow raspberries10) and they've every bit as loud and rude as ours when we were young. And she says Big Joe11) sings him to sleep at night, Oranges and Lemons12) of course. She ends by sending her love and hoping we're both well.
\"Doesn't she know?\" I ask.
\"No,\" Charlie says. \"And they won't know, not until afterwards. They'll send them a telegram. They didn't let me write home until today.\" As we sit down at the table he lowers his voice and we talk in half-whispers now. \"You'll tell them how it really was, won't you, Tommo? It's all I care about now. I don't want them thinking I was a coward. I don't want that. I want them know the truth.\"
\"Didn't you tell the court martial13)?\" I tell him.
\"Course I did. I tried, I tried my every best, but there's none so deaf as them that don't want to hear. It wasn't a trial, Tommo. They'd made up their minds I was guilty before they even sat down.... The whole court martial took less than an hour. That's all they gave me. An hour for a man's life. Not a lot, is it? And do you know what the brigadier14) said, Tommo? He said I was a worthless man. Worthless. I've been called a lot of things in my life, Tommo, but none of them ever upset me, except that one. I didn't show it, mind. I wouldn't have given them the satisfaction. And then he passed sentence. I was expecting it by then. Didn't upset me nearly as much as I thought it would.\"
I hang my head, because I cannot stop my eyes filling. \"Tommo,\" he says, lifting my chin, \"look on the bright side. It's no more than we were facing every day in the trenches15). It'll be over very quick. And the boys are looking after me all right here. They don't like it any more than I do. Three hot meals a day. A man can't grumble16). It's all over and done with, or it will be soon anyway. You want some tea, Tommo? They brought me some just before you came.\"
So we sit either side of the table and share a mug17) of sweet strong tea, and speak of everything Charlie wants to talk about: home, bread and butter pudding with the raisins in and the crunchy18) crust19) on top, moonlit nights fishing for sea trout20) on the Colonel's river, bertha, beer at The Duke, the yellow aeroplane and the humbugs.
\"We won't talk of Big Joe or Mother or Molly,\" Charlie says, \"because I'll cry if I do, and I promised myself I wouldn't.\" He leant forward suddenly in great earnest, clutching my hand. \"Talking of promises, that promise you made me back in the dugout21), Tommo. You won't forget it, will you? You will look after them?\"
\"I promise,\" I tell him, and I've never meant anything so much in all my life.
...
It's the moment. I have to do it now. It's my last chance. I tell him about how Father had died, about how it had happened, what I had done, how I should have told him years ago, but had never dared to. He smiles. \"I always knew that, Tommo. So did Mother. You'd talk in your sleep. Always having nightmares, always keeping me awake about it, you were. All nonsense. Not your fault. It was the tree that killed Father, Tommo. Not you.\"
\"You sure?\" I ask him.
\"I'm sure,\" he says. \"Quite sure.\"
We grip hands across the table, put our foreheads together and close our eyes. I manage to say what I've been wanting to say.
\"You're not worthless, Charlie. They're the worthless bastards. You're the best friend I've ever had, the best person I've ever known.\"
凌晨4點55分
還剩下65分鐘。我該怎樣度過這段時間?我是不是該讓自己睡一會兒?但那也不過是徒勞,我肯定睡不著。我該吃一頓豐盛的早餐嗎?我不想吃。我該大喊大叫嗎?那樣又有什么意義呢?我該祈禱嗎?為什么祈禱?祈禱什么?對誰祈禱?
沒用的。他們還是會照計劃進行。在這兒海格元帥就是上帝,而他已經在文件上簽了字。海格已經同意這個判決。他已經下令,二等兵皮斯佛必須被處死,必須在1916年6月25日清晨6點因“怯懦罪”被槍決。
行刑小組這會兒應該正在吃早餐,一邊小口喝著茶,一邊憎恨他們一會兒必須去執(zhí)行的任務。沒人告訴我執(zhí)行槍決的準確地點。我希望不是在監(jiān)獄的院子里,那里光線陰暗,四周都是灰沉沉的圍墻。我希望是在一個能看到藍天、白云、綠樹還有鳥兒的地方。如果能有鳥兒陪伴,死就能變得容易些吧。讓這一切快點結束,請千萬讓這一切快點結束。
這是一間馬廄——現在聞起來還有馬廄的味道——里頭放了一張桌子和兩把椅子,墻角有一個水桶,靠墻擺了一張床。查理仰面躺在床上,雙手枕在頭下,兩腿交疊著。一見到我,他馬上坐了起來,咧嘴笑了?!靶⊥?,我很希望你能來,”他說,“不過我以為他們不會讓你來。你的頭怎么樣了?好了嗎?”
“沒事了,跟原來的一樣?!蔽腋嬖V他,盡量讓自己的語氣和他的一樣輕快。然后我們擁抱著站在那里,我禁不住掉下了眼淚。
“我不想看到眼淚,小托,”他在我耳旁輕聲說,“即便沒有眼淚,這也將會很令人難以承受?!彼熘笔直鄯鲋业募绨蛘f:“你明白嗎?”
我只能點點頭。
他身上有一封家里寄來的信,是茉莉寫給他的。他說他一定要讀給我聽,因為這封信會讓他笑,而他正需要笑。信里大部分寫的是小小托的事。茉莉說小小托已經學會吐舌頭玩了,那聲音跟我們小時候一樣,又響又難聽。她還說每天晚上大個兒喬都會唱歌哄小小托睡覺,唱的當然是《柑橘與檸檬啊》。在信的末尾,她說愛他,并祝福我們倆一切都好。
“她不知道嗎?”我問道。
“不知道,”查理說,“完事之前家人不會知道的。之后他們會給家里發(fā)電報。他們今天才準許我給家里寫信?!蔽覀冊谧雷优宰聛?,他壓低聲音,我們現在用近乎耳語的聲音說話?!靶⊥?,你會告訴家人這一切的真相,對嗎?我現在唯一在乎的就是這個。我不想他們以為我是個懦夫,我不想那樣,我要他們知道事情的真相?!?/p>
“難道你在軍事法庭沒說出真相嗎?”我問他。
“當然說了。我盡力了,盡了最大的努力。但世界上再沒有像他們那么耳聾的人了,因為他們根本就不想聽我說。小托,這根本不是什么審判。他們在坐下來審案子之前就已經認定我有罪了……整個審判花了還不到一個小時,這就是他們給我的全部時間。一個小時就決定一個人的命,真不算多,對吧?你知道準將是怎么說的嗎,小托?他說我是個廢物。廢物!小托,我這輩子有很多綽號,但沒有一個會令我難受,除了這個。我并沒表現出來,要小心。我本不想讓他們稱心如意的,可接著準將就通過了對我的判決。那時我已經預料到這個結果了,所以心里并沒有想象中那樣難受?!?/p>
我垂下頭,因為我的雙眼已控制不住地噙滿了淚水?!靶⊥?,”他抬起我的下巴說,“樂觀些。這和我們每天在戰(zhàn)壕里面對的差不多。那個過程很快就會結束。監(jiān)獄里這幫小伙子都很照顧我,他們和我一樣也不喜歡這種事。一天三頓熱飯熱菜,人不能總是抱怨。一切都已結束,都板上釘釘了,或者說馬上就結束了。要喝點茶嗎,小托?你到之前,他們剛給我拿來一些。”
于是我們坐在桌子的兩邊,一起喝著那一大杯放了糖的濃茶,聊著查理想聊的一切:家、脆皮提子面包黃油布丁、到上校的河里抓鱒魚的那些月夜、獵犬貝塔、在“公爵酒吧”喝的啤酒,還有那架黃色的飛機和薄荷糖。
“我們別聊大個兒喬,別聊媽媽,也別聊茉莉,”查理說,“因為聊起來我會哭的。我已經對自己發(fā)過誓,絕不流淚?!彼蝗煌耙粌A,握住我的手,鄭重其事地說:“說到發(fā)誓,小托,你在防空洞里答應我的事情,你不會忘記,是吧。你會好好照顧他們吧?”
“我發(fā)誓?!蔽覍λf。我這一輩子還沒如此認真過。
……
是時候了。我現在必須告訴他了。這是我最后一次機會。我告訴他爸爸是怎么死的,事情是怎么發(fā)生的,還有我都做了些什么。我說我早在幾年前就該告訴他,但始終不敢說出口。他微微一笑:“小托,我早就知道了,媽媽也知道。你睡覺時會說夢話,那時你總是做噩夢,我老是被你吵醒。這些都是胡說的。那不是你的錯,是那棵樹殺死爸爸的,小托,不是你?!?/p>
“你確定?”我問他。
“我確定,”查理說,“很確定?!?/p>
我們隔著桌子緊緊握住對方的手,額頭抵在一起,閉上了眼睛。我終于說出我心里一直想要說的話。
“查理,你不是廢物,他們那些混蛋才是。你是我這一生中最好的朋友,是我所認識的最好的人。”
1.hearty [#712;hɑ#720;ti] adj. 豐盛的,營養(yǎng)豐富的
2.decree [d#618;#712;kri#720;] vt. 判決,裁定
3.cowardice [#712;ka#650;#601;d#618;s] n. 膽小,怯懦
4.squad [skw#594;d] n. 小隊
5.小托對鳥有特殊的感情,因為爸爸生前曾多次說過來生想當一只鳥,而在他的葬禮上,教堂里飛進了一只燕子,當時小托他們一致認為那就是爸爸。
6.in kind: 以同樣的方法(或手段)
7.at arm's length: (隔開)一臂的距離
8.Molly: 茉莉,與小托、查理青梅竹馬的女孩,小托與查理都愛她,后成為查理的妻子。
9.little Tommo: 茉莉與查理的兒子,以小托的名字命名,查理死時他還未滿周歲。
10.blow a raspberry: 伸舌于唇外爆氣發(fā)出表示輕蔑、嘲弄等的聲音
11.Big Joe: 大個兒喬,查理與小托的哥哥,幼時因患腦膜炎導致智商低下,但家人都很愛他。
12.Oranges and Lemons: 《柑橘與檸檬啊》,英國一首著名的兒歌,是小托一家最喜歡唱的歌。
13.court martial: 軍事法庭。martial [#712;mɑ#720;#643;l] adj. 軍事的;軍隊的
14.brigadier [#716;br#618;ɡ#601;#712;d#618;#601;(r)] n. (英國)陸軍(或海軍陸戰(zhàn)隊)準將
15.trench [trent#643;] n. 【軍】戰(zhàn)壕,散兵壕
16.grumble [#712;ɡr#652;mbl] vi. 抱怨;發(fā)牢騷
17.mug [m#652;ɡ] n. 一大杯的容量
18.crunchy [#712;kr#652;nt#643;i] adj. <口> 松脆的;易碎的
19.crust [kr#652;st] n. (一片)面包皮;干面包片
20.trout [tra#650;t] n. 【魚】鮭,鮭鱒魚
21.dugout [#712;d#652;ɡa#650;t] n. 防空洞
賞析
差5分就5點了。距離處決只剩下65分鐘。從昨晚10點5分開始,小托就開始回憶過往的點點滴滴,不肯放過這夜的一分一秒,仿佛6點鐘即將赴死的是他,而不是他的哥哥查理。
究竟是怎樣的感情,才會讓一個人把別人生命中的最后8小時當做自己的最后8小時來度過?究竟是怎樣的羈絆,才會讓生命與生命穿越生死合二為一?柑橘是甜的,檸檬是酸的,生活正如《柑橘與檸檬啊》這首歌的名字,醞釀著一段段酸甜雜陳的故事。而小托的故事真摯感人,猶如一則成長的寓言,其中有困境,也有希望。
小托是皮斯佛家最小的兒子。他的媽媽寬容、堅忍,很愛自己的孩子;大哥大個兒喬雖是智障,卻單純、樂天、熱愛大自然,像個永遠純真的小孩;二哥查理勇敢、堅強、正義,守護著小托和全家人。而爸爸卻是小托心中難以磨滅的傷口。在小托小時候,爸爸為了救他被砸死在巨木之下。年幼的小托把爸爸的死亡當成自己的罪,獨自背負著它在成長的歲月里舉步維艱,踽踽前行。懷著這樣的罪,小托變得敏感、柔弱,容易受傷。
爸爸去世之后,媽媽不得不外出打工。代替媽媽照看他們的親戚“狼婆婆”常常奚落、打罵他們;有權有勢、為富不仁的上校先生也常常找他們家的麻煩。然而,上帝關上一扇門,也會開啟一扇窗。這扇窗就是在小托哭泣時把他背在肩上、承諾會保護他的哥哥查理,是用柔軟的小手消除他的恐懼的鄰家女孩茉莉,是每當家庭陷入危機時總能為他們撐起一片天的母親,是給他帶來最純凈的溫暖的大哥大個兒喬。在這樣一個既有“狼婆婆”與野蠻上校天天刁難、又有親情和友情時時安慰,明亮與晦暗并存、快樂與悲傷交織的真實世界里,小托與查理、大個兒喬以及茉莉手拉手高唱著《柑橘與檸檬啊》走過懵懂的童年、追風的少年,步入開始需要承擔與付出的青年。有那么一段時間,連身為讀者的我們都會以為,也許生活就會這樣持續(xù)下去——只要相親相愛,只要唱起《柑橘與檸檬啊》,就可以克服所有的困難,堅強而快樂地活下去。
然而,更深的苦難來得悄然而迅捷。隨著戰(zhàn)爭打著冠冕堂皇的口號光明正大地闖入他們的生活,小托與查理懷著最初的天真與熱血被卷入烽火連天的世界。查理在與茉莉新婚燕爾之際被迫參軍,而小托也帶著對茉莉無法說出的愛以及對哥哥的妒意意氣用事地當了兵。
透過小托的眼睛,我們看不到關于戰(zhàn)爭的宏大敘事——所謂正義與邪惡,所謂人民與國家,所謂征服與力量。但是,在一種接近白描的講述里,戰(zhàn)爭殘酷的嘴臉卻無比真實地一一展現。在這場戰(zhàn)爭里,小托經歷了失去查理的擔驚受怕以及查理受傷歸家后的嫉妒與孤獨,承受了暗戀自己的無辜女孩死于戰(zhàn)爭的痛苦,目睹了一個個戰(zhàn)友與敵人血肉模糊的死亡場面。在沖天的炮火中,他一次次恐懼地哭泣,甚至害怕得想要逃離……短暫的相聚與永久的離別,難得的歡笑與常涌的淚水,戰(zhàn)爭的磨礪讓小托的心結了痂又裂開,裂開又結痂,如此反反復復。也許,所謂成長就是在最柔軟的地方生出最堅強的力量。
可小托還是迎來了最沉重的痛——哥哥查理的死亡。在一次軍事行動中,查理拒絕執(zhí)行韓利中士的錯誤指揮,挽救了包括小托在內的近一半戰(zhàn)友,卻把自己送上了軍事法庭和最終的死亡之路。上文節(jié)選的是查理赴死之前與小托最后一次見面的情景。在其有生之年,查理一直都是勇敢與正義的化身:他敢于為老鼠舉辦盛大的喪禮,敢于從上校槍管下救出垂垂老矣的獵狗貝塔,敢于與茉莉不顧世俗反對深情相戀,敢于在最強調服從的軍隊里堅持正義、反抗權威,敢于在紛飛的戰(zhàn)火中堅定地守護弟弟……然而,這個世間最勇敢的哥哥卻被冠以莫須有的“怯懦罪”處以極刑,這是何等的諷刺!可是,查理即使明知自己無法逃離死亡的命運,卻仍能微笑面對,用自己的樂觀、勇敢、愛和寬容持續(xù)不斷地鼓勵著自己的弟弟,為他撫平創(chuàng)傷,在他心中注入最堅強的力量。小說的結尾,小托想象著查理赴死時的情景,“發(fā)現在憂傷中的我一點都不寂寞”。面對遠未結束的戰(zhàn)爭,小托心中只有一個信念:“管它呢,我心中所想的就是必須活下去?!薄耙驗槲矣辛吮仨毿攀氐闹Z言?!边@諾言是對死去的查理許下的,是對等待他歸來的家人許下的,更是對長大成人的自己許下的。在生死的洗禮之下,小托最終接過了哥哥傳遞的力量,勇敢地走向自己的人生。
或許,年少的你還未經歷多少困難,但人生之路其實并不容易。你有沒有像小托一樣,為自己許下勇敢的諾言?