記得念初一時，一位同時教我和弟弟英語的老師曾很困惑地問我：“你和你弟怎么那么不同？簡直一個天，一個地。你讀書那么認真，又不好動，你弟卻活蹦亂跳的，整天玩，一點都不喜歡讀書。”回到家把話轉(zhuǎn)給媽媽聽，弟弟倒在一旁機靈地插話：“那不就好咯，我們家文武雙全嘛?！惫爜砗孟褚埠苡械览?。^_^

從沒想過出生順序還能與個性、命運搭上關(guān)系，直到讀到這篇文章，嘿嘿，有意思。文章還講到一個現(xiàn)象，國外的父母往往對第一個孩子投資最大，花的心血最多。而在國內(nèi)，似乎家里最疼愛的多半還是最小的那個哦……

——Lavender

It could not have been easy being Elliott Roosevelt. If the alcohol wasn’t getting him， the 1)morphine was. If it wasn’t the morphine， it was the struggle with depression. Then， of course， there were the constant comparisons with big brother Teddy who later became President at age 42.

Elliott Roosevelt was not the only younger sibling of an 2)eventual President to cause his family heartaches—or at least headaches. There was Roger Clinton and his year in jail on a

cocaine conviction. And there is Neil Bush， younger sib of both a President and a Governor， implicated in the savings-and-loan scandals of the 1980s.

It can’t be easy being a 3)runt in a litter that includes a President. But it couldn’t have been easy being Billy Ripken either， an unexceptional major league 4)infielder craning his neck for notice while the press swarmed around Hall of Famer and elder brother Cal. And you may have never heard of Tisa Farrow， an actress of no particular note beyond her work in the 1979 horror film 5)Zombie， but odds are you’ve heard of her sister 6)Mia.

Of all the things that shape who we are， few seem more arbitrary than the sequence in which we and our siblings 7)pop out of the womb. Maybe it’s your genes that make you a gifted athlete， your training that makes you an accomplished actress， an accident of brain chemistry that makes you a drunk instead of a President. But in family after family， case study after case study， the simple roll of the birth-date 8)dice has an odd and arbitrary power all its own.

In June 2008， a group of Norwegian researchers released a study showing that firstborns are generally smarter than any siblings who come along later， enjoying on average a three-point IQ advantage over the next eldest—probably a result of the intellectual boost that comes from mentoring younger siblings and helping them in day-to-day tasks. The second child， in turn， is a point ahead of the third. While three points might not seem like much， the effect can be enormous. “In many

families，” says psychologist Frank Sulloway， the man who has for decades been seen as the U.S.’s leading authority on birth order， “the firstborn is going to get into Harvard and the second-born isn’t.”

The differences don’t stop there. Studies in the Philippines show that later-born siblings tend to be shorter and weigh less than earlier-borns. Younger siblings are less likely to be 9)vaccinated than older ones， with last-borns getting immunized sometimes at only half the rate of

firstborns. Eldest siblings are also disproportionately represented in high-paying professions. Younger siblings， by contrast， are 10)looser cannons and less educated， but statistically likelier to live the exhilarating life of an artist or a comedian， an adventurer， entrepreneur or firefighter. And middle children? Well， they can be a puzzle—even to researchers.

For families， none of this comes as a surprise. There are few extended clans that can’t point to the firstborn， who makes the best grades， keeps the other kids in line and， when Mom and Dad grow old， winds up as caretaker and executor too. There are few that can’t point to the lost-in-the-thickets middle-born or the wild-child last-born.

While the eldest in an overpopulated brood has it relatively easy—getting 100% of the food the parents have available—things get stretched thinner when a second-born comes along. Later-borns put even more pressure on resources. Over time， everyone might be getting the same rations， but the firstborn still enjoys a caloric 11)head start that might never be overcome.

Food is not the only resource. There’s time and attention too and the emotional nourishment they

provide. It’s not for nothing that family scrapbooks are usually stuffed with pictures and report cards of the firstborn and successively fewer of the later-borns. Educational opportunities can be unevenly shared too， particularly in families that can afford the tuition bills of only one child. Families invest a lot in the firstborn. And they thrive. In a recent survey of corporate heads conducted by 12)Vistage， an international organization of CEOs， poll takers reported that 43% of the people who occupy the big chair in boardrooms are firstborns， 33% are middle-borns and 23% are last-borns. Eldest siblings are disproportionately represented among surgeons and MBAs too， according to Stanford University psychologist Robert Zajonc.

For eldest siblings， this is a pretty sweet deal. There is not much incentive for them to change a family system that provides them so many goodies， and typically they don’t try to. Younger siblings see things differently and struggle early on to shake up the existing order. They clearly don’t have size on their side， as their physically larger siblings keep them in line with what researchers call a high-power strategy.

But there are low-power strategies too， and one of the most effective ones is humor. It’s awfully hard to resist the charms of someone who can make you laugh， and families abound with stories of last-borns who are the 13)clowns of the brood， able to get their way simply by being funny or outrageous. Birth-order scholars often observe that some of history’s great satirists—Voltaire， 14)Jonathan Swift， Mark Twain—were among the youngest members of large families， a pattern that continues today. American comedian 15)Stephen Colbert—who yields to no one in his ability to get a laugh—often points out that he’s the last of 11 children. Such examples might be little more than anecdotal， but personality tests show that while firstborns score especially well on the dimension of temperament known as conscientiousness—a sense of general responsibility and follow-through—later-borns score higher on what’s known as agreeableness， or the simple ability to get along in the world.

Later-borns are similarly willing to take risks with their physical safety. All sibs are equally likely to be involved in sports， but younger ones are likelier to choose the kinds that could cause injury. “They don’t go out for tennis，” Sulloway says. “They go out for rugby， ice hockey. Even when siblings play the same sport， they play it differently.” Research by Ben Dattner， a professor of industrial and organizational psychology at New York University， is showing that even when later-borns take conservative jobs， they approach their work in a high-wire way. Firstborn CEOs， for

example， do best when they’re making 16)incremental improvements in their companies: shedding

underperforming products， maximizing profits from existing lines and generally making sure the trains run on time. Later-born CEOs are more inclined to blow up the trains and lay new track. “Later-borns are better at transformational change，” says Dattner. “They pursue riskier， more innovative， more creative approaches.”

If eldest sibs are the dogged achievers and youngest sibs are the gamblers and visionaries， where does this leave those in between? That it’s so hard to define what middle-borns become is largely due to the fact that it’s so hard to define who they are growing up. The youngest in the family， but only until someone else comes along， they are both teacher and student， babysitter and babysat， too young for the privileges of the firstborn but too old for the latitude given the last. Middle children are expected to 17)step up to the plate when the eldest child goes off to school or in some other way drops out of the picture. Middlings are never alone and thus never get 100% of the parents’ investment of time and money.

當(dāng)艾略特·羅斯福一點兒也不容易。不是酗酒，就是嗎啡成癮；走得出嗎啡魔爪，又逃不開抑郁癥的折磨；當(dāng)然，更不要說，幾乎所有人都拿他和他哥哥泰迪（昵稱，實為西奧多·羅斯福）作比較，后者在42歲時成為美國總統(tǒng)。

在美國總統(tǒng)的家史中，艾略特·羅斯福并不是唯一一個讓總統(tǒng)家族心痛、或者至少是頭痛的“總統(tǒng)弟弟”。還有克林頓總統(tǒng)的弟弟羅杰·克林頓，因涉及可卡因交易被判入獄，以及有位總統(tǒng)哥哥及州長哥哥的尼爾·布什，在上世紀80年代牽連多起儲蓄貸款丑聞。

在走出一位總統(tǒng)的家庭里做一個小蘿卜頭肯定不容易，但要做比利·瑞普肯一定也不容易。他是美國一主要職業(yè)棒球隊中的一名普通內(nèi)場手，他那已進入棒球名人堂的哥哥卡爾·瑞普肯總被媒體包圍得水泄不通，而他卻得努力伸長脖子招人注意?；蛟S你從沒聽說過蒂莎·法羅，這位女演員除了在1979年出演過恐怖電影《僵尸》之外就沒什么特別值得一提的，但你很可能聽說過她的姐姐米婭·法羅。

在所有塑造我們成為現(xiàn)在這個樣子的因素中，幾乎沒什么比我們和我們的兄弟姐妹從娘胎里鉆出來的順序更隨意的了?；蛟S是你的基因決定你成為一名出色的運動員，或許是艱苦的訓(xùn)練決定你成為一名有造詣的演員，或許腦內(nèi)意外發(fā)生的化學(xué)反應(yīng)讓你成為一個酒鬼，而不是總統(tǒng)，但一個又一個家庭、一個又一個案例的研究結(jié)果顯示，單單是出生的順序就對個人的命運有著一種不尋常而獨斷的影響。

2008年6月，一群挪威研究人員公布的一項研究表明，家中第一個出生的孩子大體要比晚出生的孩子聰明，他們的智商平均比第二個孩子高出3點——這很可能是因為他們每天要管教以及幫助弟弟妹妹應(yīng)付日常生活和學(xué)習(xí)，而第二個孩子的平均智商依次比第三個孩子高出1點。智商高出3點也許看上去并不多，但影響卻很大。心理學(xué)家弗蘭克·蘇洛威（幾十年來在美國研究出生順序的頂尖權(quán)威人士）說：“對于很多家庭來說，這意味著第一個孩子能進哈佛大學(xué)，第二個則不能”。

差別還不止于此。菲律賓國內(nèi)的研究顯示，家庭里晚出生的孩子在身高和體重方面都劣于早出生的孩子。他們也往往沒像早出生的孩子那樣接受疫苗接種，有時候最后一個孩子獲得的免疫力只有第一個孩子的一半。在高收入人群中，長子或長女的比率明顯大。相比之下，弟弟妹妹們多半“不羈”，受教育程度較低。但從統(tǒng)計學(xué)的角度看，弟弟妹妹們更有可能成為藝術(shù)家或者喜劇演員、冒險家、企業(yè)家或者消防員，過著自己喜歡的生活。至于排行中間的孩子，就算對研究人員來說，也還是謎團一個。

對于很多家庭來說，以上的那些情況很正常。絕大多數(shù)家庭的父母在說起家里哪個孩子的學(xué)習(xí)成績最好，哪個孩子最能管教其他孩子，父母老了以后哪個孩子更適合承擔(dān)繼承人的角色，都無一例外說的是最年長的孩子。如果說到平庸無奇，多半是說中間的孩子，說到“野孩子”，那肯定指最小的那個。

在人口過多的家庭中，最年長的孩子相對活得安樂一些，他們一開始會獲得父母能提供的全部食物，但是在第二胎出生后，資源就少了，再后面出生的孩子又會給資源帶來更大的壓力。盡管一段時間后，每個孩子也許獲得的資源是等量的，但第一個孩子最初多獲的卡路里，是之后的孩子永遠不可能超過的。

食物不是唯一的資源，還有父母投入的時間、精力和關(guān)愛。不然家庭相冊里怎么會通常塞滿第一個孩子的照片和成績單，較晚出生的孩子則依次減少。接受教育的機會也不是均等的，尤其在那些只能負擔(dān)起一個孩子的學(xué)費的家庭里。家庭對第一個孩子的投資很大，于是他們茁壯成長。全球公司總裁聯(lián)合組織維仕坦最近對企業(yè)高層做的調(diào)查顯示，在董事會坐頭把交椅的有43%是長子/女；33%是排行中間的孩子，23%是家庭中最小的孩子。根據(jù)斯坦福大學(xué)心理學(xué)家羅伯特·扎榮茨的研究和統(tǒng)計，外科醫(yī)生和擁有MBA文憑的人群中，長子/女的比重也同樣大大超出家中其他排行的人。

對于做大哥哥大姐姐的孩子們來說，這是一筆很“劃算”的買賣。改變家庭制度對他們來說并沒太多好處，所以他們往往不會去嘗試。而年輕的弟弟妹妹們看法可不同，他們很早就開始努力打亂現(xiàn)有次序。顯然他們在塊頭上不占便宜，因為有體形更大的哥哥姐姐們用一種研究者稱之為“高權(quán)位者策略”的東西將他們牢牢控制住。

不過也有“低權(quán)位者策略”，其中最有效的一個策略就是幽默。一個能讓你捧腹大笑的人的魅力是難以抵擋的。最后一個出生的孩子在家中往往扮演“小丑”的角色，僅憑幽默或“放肆”就能營生，家里充滿了他們的趣事。研究出生順序的學(xué)者們常常觀察到歷史上一些偉大的諷刺作家——伏爾泰、喬納森·斯威夫特、馬克·吐溫——都是大家庭中年紀最小的孩子，這一現(xiàn)象持續(xù)到現(xiàn)在。逗笑能力無人能及的美國喜劇演員斯蒂

芬·科爾特就常常指出，自己是11個兄弟姐妹中排名最后的那個。這類例子也許充其量不過是名人軼事罷了，然而性格測試顯示出，第一胎在性格測評中“盡責(zé)”一項上得分優(yōu)異——指的是“總體責(zé)任感”和“堅持不懈”的品質(zhì)——而晚出生的孩子在“隨和”或者說圓滑處世的能力方面得分更高。

晚出生的孩子大多愿意舍身冒險。雖然兄弟姐妹們都可能參與一些運動，但是排行小的那些更可能選擇那些會讓人受傷的運動。蘇洛威說：“他們不會去打網(wǎng)球，而會去打橄欖球、冰上曲棍球。即便大家參加的是同一種體育運動，他們玩的方式也與別不同。”紐約大學(xué)實業(yè)及組織心理學(xué)教授本·丹特納的研究表明，即便出生順序排在后面的人干的是一份保守的工作，他們在工作中仍會去冒險。舉例說吧，首席執(zhí)行官如果是家中老大，那他在負責(zé)公司漸進式改善方面的工作時往往最得心應(yīng)手：砍掉不好賣的產(chǎn)品，把現(xiàn)有產(chǎn)品線的利潤最大化，總體確保工作依時開展。而首席執(zhí)行官如果是家中晚出生的那些，則更愿意把各項安排打亂，開創(chuàng)新路子。丹特納說：“晚出生的人更擅長于‘轉(zhuǎn)型式’的改革，他們追求的方式更具風(fēng)險性、創(chuàng)新性和創(chuàng)造性?！?/p>

如果說家庭中最年長的孩子們是經(jīng)過頑強拼搏的成功者，最后出生的孩子可以說是賭徒和夢想家，那么夾在中間的孩子呢？要定義排行中間的孩子的成就相當(dāng)難，很大部分原因是很難定義在成長過程中他們扮演什么樣的角色：他們剛出生時是家中最年幼的孩子，不過等到有了弟弟妹妹，他們的角色就發(fā)生了變化，既要當(dāng)“老師”又要當(dāng)“學(xué)生”；既是“保姆”，自己又是一個被照顧的人。他們不夠資格享有長子/女的“特權(quán)”，以及幼子的自由放肆。排行中間的孩子往往在年紀最大的孩子入學(xué)或以其他方式退出了“家庭舞臺”后，就得開始“扛起重任”。中間的孩子從來都不是孤軍作戰(zhàn)，所以從來不會獲得父母100%的時間和金錢投入。