A

Manny：Do these stairs take you to the ninth floor?

Danny：No，you have to walk by yourself.

B

Ned：Why do you always wear two watches?

Ted：I need one to see how slow the other one is.

C

Teacher(taking attendance點名）：Morgan Smith.

Jason：Absent.

Teacher：Quiet，Jason. Let Morgan speak for himself.

D

Absent-minded professor：Where are my shoes?

Student：They’re on your feet.

Absent-minded professor：So they are. It’s a good thing you saw them，or I would have gone home without them.

E

Nurse to absent-minded professor in hospital：Professor，the doctor’s here.

Absent-minded professor：Tell him I can’t see him right now. I’m too sick.

F

Wille：What makes you think I’m stupid?

Millie：Well，yesterday when I said hello，you couldn’t think of an answer.

G

Teacher：Willie，what，besides a supersonic jet（超音速飛機(jī)），goes faster than the speed of sound?

Willie：My aunt Jenny when she talks.

H

Sally：Why are you wearing your socks inside out（襪子反穿）？

Stanley：Because there’s a hole on the outside.

I

Farmer Brown：My lazy new farmhand（長工）broke two spade handles（鐵鍬柄）yesterday.

Farmer Jones：Because of working hard?

Farmer Brown：No，leaning（斜靠）on them.

J

Genius：I have just invented a way to get eggs without chickens.

Farmer：That’s fantastic（奇妙的）！How?

Genius：Raise（飼養(yǎng)）ducks.

K

City visitor：How do you find the mosquitoes（蚊子）here in the summer?

Farmer：You don’t have to find them—they can find you.

L

Mac：Do you know how to drive a car?

Moe：I thought I did，until I had a short discussion with a policeman yesterday.

M

Rick：They say this lake has no bottom（底）.

Nick：How can they say that? Look，the water is only halfway up those ducks over there.

N

Dan：Did you hear about the graduation ceremony（畢業(yè)典禮）at night schoot?

Ann：No，what about it?

Dan：Everybody wore a nightcap（睡帽）and nightgown（睡衣）.

O

Mother：Did you eat all the cookies，Tom?

Tom：I didn’t touch one.

Mother：That’s strange.There’s only one left.

Tom：That’s the one I didn’t touch.

P

Scientist：Tell me how fast light travels.

Assistant：The same way slow light travels.

注：注意how fast 和 fast light 的兩種不同理解。

Q

Patient：Doctor，you must do something for me. I snore（打鼾）so loudly that I wake myself up.

Doctor：In that case，I advise you to sleep in another room.