王 欣/編譯

五年多之前，我響應(yīng)一則公告的號召，開始和美國監(jiān)獄里的死刑犯通信。一開始我只是出于好奇心，而且我喜歡寫信，所以就覺得這是件有趣的事。但后來我加入了“人道通信組織”，這是一個幫死刑犯找筆友的人道組織。

分配給我的筆友是佛羅里達州瑞福特監(jiān)獄的一個犯人，名叫拉爾夫，我們自2002年2月開始通信。在信中我們談?wù)摿嗽S多事情，從政治到宗教，從詩歌到藝術(shù)，從網(wǎng)球到養(yǎng)狗——我們惟一不能討論的話題就是他的罪行。我寫的信首先要通過官方的審查，所以盡管我以最快的速度回信，信件要到達拉爾夫手中還是得經(jīng)歷一個漫長的過程。

拉爾夫今年47歲，在監(jiān)獄里已經(jīng)呆了二十多年。他早年的生活困苦不堪，童年時就歷經(jīng)磨難，又缺少家庭的溫暖——所以他走上犯罪道路也就不足為奇了。但我知道這并不是借口，而且他也意識到自己已經(jīng)犯了彌天大錯?，F(xiàn)在他是一名虔誠的信徒，正在寫一本關(guān)于上帝之愛的書。 隨著我們對彼此了解的加深，拉爾夫提出想要見見我的要求。雖然我從去過監(jiān)獄的人的口中多多少少了解一些情況，對此并沒有什么顧慮，但心里還是有些惴惴不安。

那天我來到了監(jiān)獄接待處，原以為這里也不過如此。但我還記得我在通過嚴(yán)格的安檢程序時是多么緊張。在通過儀器收集指紋時，我簡直手足無措。而且令人匪夷所思的是，他們竟然因為我穿的裙子沒有襯裙而不允許我進入，于是我不得不回家去換。還有，我身后鐵欄上鎖的聲音也會讓我感到非常不安。

死刑犯的生活十分艱苦。他們一天有23小時被關(guān)著，只有很少的時間允許他們與親友相見、洗個淋浴或是到院子里走動。當(dāng)我第一次見拉爾夫的時候，我的第一反應(yīng)就是：“天啊，你太瘦了！”他看起來無精打采，可能是多年沒見陽光的緣故。也許這么說不太恰當(dāng)，不過他真的已經(jīng)沒有人樣了。一股母性關(guān)懷的情感在我心底油然而生，我想要照顧他，讓他吃頓像樣的飯——監(jiān)獄里的飯菜非常糟糕，有的簡直不是人吃的。許多犯人因此生病，可是連專門給他們治病的醫(yī)生也沒有。

拉爾夫喜歡和我通信，是因為我不是那種動輒就對他人進行評價的人，而且，我也已經(jīng)成為他了解外界的窗口。美國現(xiàn)在有大約3700名死刑犯，其中一些很想交筆友，一些年長的筆友還為一些年輕的犯人扮演起了代理父母的角色。

與囚犯寫信讓我受益匪淺，我逐漸了解到他們那藏在面具下的真實的內(nèi)心世界。他們是多么孤獨又多么需要朋友的關(guān)愛啊！

現(xiàn)在，我已經(jīng)成為了“人道通信組織”的協(xié)調(diào)人，并決定今后要多多參與這種活動，盡可能多地為犯人尋找合適的筆友，同時安排并組織一些“人道通信組織”的會議。

這是一趟有趣的心靈之旅，它起始于我的好奇心，當(dāng)我深入了解到監(jiān)獄里糟糕的條件和犯人們的艱苦生活之后，我終于認(rèn)識到，犯人也是有喜怒哀樂的人。

這寶貴的經(jīng)歷充實了我的生活，我愿意向更多的人伸出友誼之手。

[編譯自國外英文網(wǎng)站]

（責(zé)任編輯 李）

Writing to a prisoner changed my life

By Sonya Woodsend

Today

21 November 2007 12:43

It started more than five years ago when I answered an advertisement asking for people to befriend prisoners on death row in the USA.

Initially I was just curious， and I loved letter writing， so I thought it would be an interesting thing to do， but eventually I joined Human Writes， a humanitarian organization befriending Death Row inmates.

I was allocated a prisoner in Railford， Florida， and I've been writing to Ralph since February 2002. We've written about many things， from politics to religion， from poetry and art， to Wimbledon and dogs - the only subject we can't discuss is his crime or the case. My letters are read first by the authorities， so although I write as soon as I receive a letter from him， it can be a slow process.

Ralph is 47 and has been in prison for more than 20 years. He's had such a hard life - a childhood fraught with problems and an unsupportive family - so it was no wonder he took the wrong path. But I know that's no excuse and he's very aware of what a bad thing he did.

He's now deeply religious， and writing a book on the love of God.

As our writing progressed， Ralph eventually wanted me to visit him and， although I had no doubts about going because I knew what to expect from other people who'd been， I was very apprehensive.

When I got to the prison my first impression - of the reception - was just how very ordinary it was， and I remember how nervous I was about getting the strict security procedures correct. I had my fingerprints taken electronically and I couldn't get it right. And I wasn't allowed in the first time， as I wore a skirt without a petticoat and had to go back and change. And， as a visitor， the locking of the bars behind me was very unnerving.

Life on the row is very harsh as the prisoners are locked up 23 hours a day， with just moments outside their cell to see a visitor， take a shower or exercise in the yard.

The prisoners' appeals go on forever， as defence lawyers can be young and inexperienced and often leave， or move on， because the procedures take so long.

When I saw Ralph for the first time， I instinctively thought， 'Gosh， you're so thin'. He looked washed out and tired， he hadn't seen the sun for so many years and， although it's an odd thing to say， he just didn't look human. My mother instinct took over; I wanted to look after him and feed him a decent meal - prison food is so appalling that some is unfit for human consumption. Many prisoners become ill as a result and medical care is non-existent.

But， unlike some prisons， we were able to have open contact across a table from each other (that is， we weren't separated by a cage with a glass or mesh window， or had to communicate by telephone) and played games of Scrabble to pass the time. He's also lucky that he has a black and white TV and a small radio.

Ralph was so pleased to receive a letter from someone who is not judgmental， and who has become his window to the outside world. There are almost 3，700 prisoners in the United States on Death Row， some of whom would love to have a penfriend， and older letter-writers find themselves stepping into the role of surrogate Mums or Dads to the younger prisoners.

It is so rewarding writing to inmates because you get to know the true person under the bravado， how lonely and in need of a friend they are.

I decided to become more involved by becoming a co-ordinator for Human Writes and now match up the letter-writers to prisoners where possible， in the state of California; I also arrange the Human Writes conferences.

It has been an interesting journey for me， from my initial curiosity，

which has led to a deeper understanding about the awful conditions of prison life， and how deprived the prisoners are. I was amazed to realize that these people who endure such deprivation are people. It has enriched my life for me to be able to offer the hand of friendship.