The Ten Cat Commandments

1. I am the Lord of thy house.

2. Thou shall have no other pets before me.

3. Thou shalt not ever ignore me.

4. I shall ignore thou when I feel like it.

5. Thou shalt be grateful that I even give thou the time of day.

6. Remember my food dish and keep it full.

7. Thou shalt spend most of thy money on toys and gifts for me.

8. Thou shalt always have thy lap ready for me to curl up in.

9. Thou shalt shower me with love and attention upon demand.

10. Above all， thou shalt do anything and everything it takes to keep me happy. "

貓之“十誡”

1、我是你房子的主人。

2、在我面前你不能有其他的寵物。

3、你永遠(yuǎn)都不能忽視我的存在。

4、只要我愿意，就可以忽視你的存在。

5、我時(shí)刻都陪著你，所以你應(yīng)該心存感激。

6、要記得我的食盤，并保持它是滿著的。

7、你應(yīng)該傾其所有為我添置玩具和禮物。

8、你的膝蓋應(yīng)該時(shí)刻準(zhǔn)備好，好讓我能蜷在上面睡覺。

9、你應(yīng)該對(duì)我傾注超出需要之外的愛和關(guān)注。

10、最重要的是，只要能讓我開心，什么事情你都應(yīng)該去做。

THINGS YOU CAN LEARN FROM YOUR CAT

Make the world your playground.

If you can’t get your way， lay across the keyboard till you do.

When you are hungry， meow loudly so they feed you just to shut you up.

Always find a good patch of sun to nap in.

Nap often.

When in trouble， just purr and look cute.

Life is hard， and then you nap.

Curiosity never killed anything except maybe a few hours.

When in doubt， cop an attitude.

Variety is the spice of life. One day， ignore people; the next day， annoy them.

Climb your way to the top， that’s why the curtains are there.

Make your mark in the world， or at least spray in each corner.

Always give generously; a bird or rodent left on the bed tells them， “I care”.

以貓為鑒

將世界變成你的游樂場(chǎng)。

如果你不能隨心所欲想干什么就干什么，那就趴在鍵盤上直到能做為止。

當(dāng)你餓了的時(shí)候，大聲喵喵叫，這樣他們就會(huì)給你食物讓你閉嘴。

永遠(yuǎn)都能找到一處明媚的陽光打個(gè)小盹。

經(jīng)常打盹。

遇到麻煩的時(shí)候，只用發(fā)出咕嚕咕嚕聲，并做可愛狀。

生活很艱難，所以你要打盹。

好奇心從來就殺不死什么東西，只可能消耗一點(diǎn)時(shí)間。

有疑問的時(shí)候，不要表態(tài)。

變化是一種生活情趣。有時(shí)候無視人類，有時(shí)候騷擾他們。

順著你的路一直爬到頂端，這就是窗簾的作用。

在世界上留下你的標(biāo)記，或至少在每個(gè)角落留點(diǎn)氣味。

永遠(yuǎn)慷慨地付出：將一只小鳥或老鼠留在床上以告訴人類“我在乎”。

Rules for Cats to Live by

BATHROOMS:

Always accompany guests to the bathroom. It is not necessary to do anything. Just sit and stare.

DOORS:

Do not allow any closed doors in any room. To get door open， stand on hind legs and hammer with forepaws. Once the door is opened， it is not necessary to use it. After you have ordered an “outside” door opened， stand halfway in and out and think about several things. This is particularly important during very cold weather， rain， snow， or mosquito season.

CHAIRS AND RUGS:

If you have to throw up， get to a chair or bed quickly. If you cannot manage in time， get to an Oriental rug. If there is no Oriental rug， any quality carpeting is good. When throwing up on the carpet， make sure you back up so it is as long as a human’s bare foot.

WALKING:

As often as possible， dart quickly and as close as possible in front of the human， especially on stairs， when they have something in their arms， in the dark， and when they first get up in the morning. This will help their coordination skills.

BEDTIME:

Always sleep on the human at night so he/she doesn’t move around too much.

LITTER BOX:

When using the litter box， be sure to kick as much litter out of the box as possible. Humans love the feel of kitty litter between their toes.

HIDING:

Every now and then， hide in a place where the humans cannot find you. Do not come out for three to four hours under any circumstances. This will cause the humans to panic (which they love) thinking that you have run away or are lost. Once you do come out， the humans will cover you with love and kisses and you will probably get a treat.

ONE LAST THOUGHT:

Whenever possible， get close to a human， especially their face， then turn around， and present your butt to them. Humans love this， so do it often. And don’t forget guests.

搗蛋貓的生存之道

浴室

永遠(yuǎn)陪著客人去浴室。沒必要做什么事情，只用坐在旁邊盯著他就行。

門

不允許房間里有任何一扇門是關(guān)著的。想要門打開，用后腿站起來，用前爪拍打。一旦門開了，沒必要用這招了。一旦在你的命令下“外出”的門被打開了，就半進(jìn)半出狀待在那里想事情。這在非常寒冷的天氣、雨天、下雪天，或者蚊子肆虐的季節(jié)特別重要。

椅子和地毯

如果你要嘔吐了，盡快跳上椅子或床鋪。如果時(shí)間來不及了，那就跑到東方地毯上。如果沒有東方地毯，任何優(yōu)質(zhì)地毯都不錯(cuò)。在地毯上嘔吐時(shí)，盡量邊吐邊后退，這樣留下的痕跡就同人類光腳丫子的長(zhǎng)度一樣長(zhǎng)了。

行走

盡可能多地橫沖直撞，并盡可能地靠近人類，特別是當(dāng)他們抱著東西在樓梯上時(shí)，以及當(dāng)他們?cè)缟蟿偲鸫补饩€昏暗時(shí)。這可以幫助他們練習(xí)協(xié)調(diào)能力。

睡眠時(shí)間

總在晚上睡在人類身上，這樣他/她就不會(huì)總是到處走動(dòng)。

貓砂盤

當(dāng)使用貓砂盤時(shí)，確保盡可能多地踢出貓砂來。人類喜歡腳趾間有貓砂的感覺。

躲藏

時(shí)不時(shí)藏在某個(gè)人類找不到你的地方。在任何情況下，三到四個(gè)小時(shí)之內(nèi)都不要出來。這會(huì)讓人類驚慌（他們很喜歡這種感覺），以為你逃走了或者丟了。一旦你真的出來了，人類會(huì)用愛和親吻包圍你，而且你說不定能得到大餐獎(jiǎng)勵(lì)。

最后的想法

在任何可能的時(shí)候，靠近人類，特別是他們的臉，然后轉(zhuǎn)身把屁股對(duì)著他們。人類喜歡這種做法，所以可以經(jīng)常這么做。還有，別忘了對(duì)客人也這么干。

小資料:貓之趣聞

世界上第一次貓展于1871年在倫敦的水晶宮舉辦。

除了鼻子以外，貓能用另外一個(gè)被稱為犁鼻骨的器官聞氣味，該器官位于貓口腔的上顎。

在古埃及，殺貓被認(rèn)為是犯罪行為，并要被判處死刑。

貓沒有真正的鎖骨，因此，只要貓的頭部能夠通過某處，其身體一般都可以擠過去。你也許見過貓小心翼翼地用頭部測(cè)量通道的寬窄。

貓一天要睡16到18個(gè)小時(shí)。

大部分藍(lán)眼睛的白貓都是聾的。只有一只藍(lán)眼睛的白貓只有靠近藍(lán)眼睛的那只耳朵是聾的。黃眼睛的白貓就不存在此種問題。