愛情本是男女之間很私密的事，然而在生活節(jié)奏快、人口出生率低的新加坡，公民談情說愛關(guān)乎國家發(fā)展前景。數(shù)據(jù)顯示，新加坡去年適齡婦女的生育率跌至記錄最低點，為1.24個孩子，排名世界倒數(shù)。要維持新加坡現(xiàn)有人口數(shù)量，適齡婦女的生育率需達2.5個孩子，但新加坡的生育率已連續(xù)28年低于這一水平。于是，上到政府總理，下到校園講師，新加坡發(fā)起了一場“愛的運動”，鼓勵單身男女墜入愛河、結(jié)婚生子，以保證新加坡人口維持在正常水平。

It was like a college 1)mixer， a classroom full of young men and women seeking a recipe for

romance. They had assembled for the first class of “Love Relations for Life: A Journey of Romance， Love and Sexuality.” There was giggling and 2)banter among the students， but that was all part of the course as their teacher， Suki Tong， led them into the basics of dating， falling in love and staying together.

The course， in its second year at two polytechnic institutes， is the latest of many， mostly 3)futile， campaigns by Singapore’s government to get its citizens to 4)mate and multiply. Its popularity last year has led to talk of its expansion through the higher education system.

“We want to tell students， ‘Don’t wait until you have built up your career，’ ” said Yu-Foo Yee Shoon， the Minister of State for Community Development， Youth and Sports， at a news conference in March. “Sometimes， it is too late， especially for girls.”

The courses are an extension of government matchmaking programs that try to 5)address the twin challenges embodied in a falling birthrate: too few people are having babies， and too few of those who are belong to what Singapore considers the genetically desirable educated elite.

Last year Singapore’s fertility rate fell to a record low of 1.24 children per woman of childbearing age， one of the lowest in the world. It was the 28th year in a row Singapore had stayed below the rate of 2.5 children needed to maintain the population.

But even a replacement-level rate would not be enough for today’s planners. The government recently announced that it was aiming to increase the population by more than 40 percent over the next half-century， to 6.5 million from the current 4.5 million.

“Teaching our youth in school how to fall in love” is a good solution， wrote Andy Ho， a

senior writer at 6)The Straits Times， a government-friendly newspaper that does its best to help out in Singapore’s many campaigns. In 1991， for

example， when the government began offering cash bonuses to couples with more than two children， the newspaper printed tips for having sex in the back seat of a car， including directions to some of the “darkest， most secluded and most romantic spots” for parking. It suggested covering the windows with newspapers for privacy.

In 1984， the country’s master planner， Prime Minister Lee Kuan Yew， declared that too few of the country’s most 7)eligible women， those with college degrees， were marrying and having children. He set up the Social Development Unit to address the problem， and since then the government has been the country’s principal matchmaker.

In addition to its tea dances and moonlight cruises， the agency acts as a lonely hearts adviser， with an online counselor named Dr. Love and a menu of boy-meets-girl suggestions on its Web site，

www.lovebyte.org.sg. “Guys， girls notice everything!” the Web site offers in one of its dating tips. “Comb your hair differently and they notice. Change your watch and they notice! Skipped your morning shower and sprayed on 8)deodorant to cover the smell—they notice! What does this mean? Well， bathe regularly， change something about yourself， be observant， and compliment the lady.”

In other words， said Annie Chan， director of a matchmaking agency， “Our government wants smart ladies to meet smart guys to get smart children.”

But in Singapore it is impossible to get very far from thoughts of money and the workplace. These guys may have other things on their minds besides romance and babies. Singaporeans quite seriously describe their society as being driven by a local concept called kiasu， a desire not so much to get ahead as to not lose out. That concept might be applied， for example， to a person who pushes ahead of everybody else to get into an elevator. This single-mindedness， in life as in elevators， seems to leave little room for social graces or for romance or procreation.

“The E.Q. here，” said Ms. Chan， “can be 9)appalling.”

But even while working on the solution， Ms. Chan seems to be part of the problem. She is 39 and has been married for four years， but said she did not have the time or energy to have children.

It is a lot to ask of a college course to break attitudes like this. Three 20-year-old graduates of last year’s 10)inaugural course at Singapore

Polytechnic still seemed 11)imbued more with kiasu than romance. Despite everything their teachers had told them about multitasking work and love， none was in a relationship. And nothing they had heard in class seemed to have 12)dented their stereotypes about the opposite sex.

“I’m not open to relationships in school，” said Wei Shan Koh， a former student who works as a teacher’s aide. “Boys in school are not my 13)cup of tea. They are 14)male chauvinist pigs. They’re annoying and childish. And they won’t give in to you. They’re just not mature.”

Another former student， Tian Xi Tang， was quick to respond. “I think girls’ ideas are a bit childish， or you might say 15)girlie，” said Mr. Tang， who hopes to become an engineer. “It’s a matter of pride. Guys are more outspoken. We don’t like a girl to be more outspoken.”

Kamal Prakash， who hopes to be a lecturer in mathematics， gave voice to what appears to be the common theme here， among both young people and their elders. “I am not interested now in love relations because I want to continue my studies，” he said. “If I concentrate on love relations， I won’t be able to concentrate on my studies.”

像大學(xué)在搞聯(lián)誼會似的，教室里擠滿了青年男女，在探尋獲得浪漫愛情的秘訣。這是他們聚在一起上的第一堂課——《愛之于人生：戀、愛、性之旅》。其間學(xué)生們嬉笑、打趣，那也都是課程的一部分。他們的老師童素琪（音譯）在教授他們學(xué)習(xí)約會、相戀以及維系感情的基本技巧。

在新加坡兩間理工學(xué)院開設(shè)的這門課已經(jīng)進入第二個年頭，是繼新加坡政府開展的許多旨在促進國民結(jié)婚生育的運動后又一最新舉措，先前的大部分舉措都收效甚微。而去年開設(shè)的這門課程則廣受歡迎，并引發(fā)熱論希望其能在高校系統(tǒng)內(nèi)進一步推廣。

“我們想告訴學(xué)生們，‘別等到事業(yè)有成才談戀愛’。有時候，那太晚了，尤其對于女孩子來說?！毙录悠律鐣l(fā)展、青年及體育部政務(wù)部長符喜泉在今年三月的一場記者招待會上說道。

這類課程是新加坡政府眾多“紅娘”舉措之外的擴展，旨在設(shè)法對抗低生育率包含的兩大挑戰(zhàn)：愿意生孩子的人太少；愿意生的，極少是新加坡公認的基因優(yōu)良且受過高等教育的精英階層。

新加坡去年適齡婦女的生育率跌至記錄最低點，為1.24個孩子，排名世界倒數(shù)。要維持新加坡現(xiàn)有人口數(shù)量，適齡婦女的生育率需達2.5個孩子，但新加坡的生育率已連續(xù)28年低于這一水平。

然而，新加坡今日的規(guī)劃者對用于維持現(xiàn)有人口數(shù)量的這樣一個生育率甚至還不滿意。新加坡政府最近宣布，其目標是在未來50年內(nèi)實現(xiàn)人口數(shù)量超過40％的增長，從目前的450萬增至650萬。

“‘教在校青年如何墜入愛河’是個好辦法?！毙录悠隆逗{時報》資深作者何安迪在報上寫道。《海峽時報》是政府的喉舌，在新加坡眾多運動中竭盡所能為政府搖旗吶喊。例如在1991年，新加坡政府開始向生育兩個孩子以上的夫婦頒發(fā)獎金，《海峽時報》那時就曾刊登小貼士，指導(dǎo)大家如何在汽車后座上做愛，包括如何把車停到一些“最隱蔽，最僻靜而又最浪漫的地點”，還建議用報紙擋住車窗，避免受干擾。

早在1984年，新加坡內(nèi)閣資政、時任總理李光耀就說過，本國那些擁有大學(xué)學(xué)歷的適婚女青年中結(jié)婚且生育孩子的人太少。他隨即成立了社交發(fā)展署來處理這個問題，從此，政府就開始擔(dān)當(dāng)起國民的首要“紅娘”。

除了舉辦茶舞會、月光游船活動之外，社交發(fā)展署還扮演“孤單人士”的心靈顧問，在其網(wǎng)站www.lovebyte.org.sg上推出“愛情博士”在線咨詢，還提供了一份男女約會指導(dǎo)手冊。網(wǎng)站上有這樣一條約會小貼士：“小伙子們，姑娘們注意所有細節(jié)！你換個發(fā)型，對方會留意到；你換塊手表，對方會留意到；你早上不洗澡，只噴些香體露掩蓋異味，對方也會留意到！那得怎么做？嘿，常洗澡，適時改變一下自己，注意細節(jié)，多贊美女性?！?/p>

某婚姻介紹所主管陳安妮（音譯）說道，換句話說就是“我們政府希望聰明的女性約會聰明的男性，生下聰明的

孩子?！?/p>

但在新加坡，要撇開金錢和工作不考慮是不可能的。這些在校青年的腦子里除了浪漫愛情和孩子以外，還有別的東西要考慮。新加坡人嚴肅地描繪道，他們的社會正在被這樣一種本國人稱為“kiasu”的概念所驅(qū)動，即一種不需要排頭也不能落后的愿望。那種概念可能適用于，比如，一個人推擠前面的每個人，只為擠進電梯。在生活中，就如在電梯中，這種一根筋的專注心態(tài)似乎把社交禮儀、談情說愛、生兒育女都擠到一邊去了。

“這里的人情商可真是（低得）令人震驚！”陳安妮說。

然而，正探尋問題的解決方法的陳小姐，她自己似乎也是問題的一部分。今年39歲的她已經(jīng)結(jié)婚4年，但她說她一直沒時間和精力生育孩子。

想要憑借大學(xué)里的戀愛課程來改變類似這樣的觀念，可不是一件容易的事。去年新加坡理工學(xué)院第一屆戀愛課程的3名20歲畢業(yè)生，他們腦子里的kiasu思想就似乎仍重于對浪漫愛情的渴求。盡管在課堂上，他們的老師已告訴過他們，工作和愛情可以兩不誤，但他們?nèi)藳]有一個在談戀愛，而他們在戀愛課程中聽到的東西似乎都無法削弱他們對異性的固有看法。

“我不贊成在校學(xué)生談戀愛?！笨邹鄙海ㄒ糇g）說道，她已畢業(yè)，現(xiàn)任教學(xué)助理?！拔也幌矚g學(xué)校里的男生。他們大男子主義、討人厭、幼稚、不懂讓步、不成熟！”

另一名往屆畢業(yè)生唐天西（音譯）則迅速回應(yīng)道：“我覺得女生的想法有點幼稚，或者可以說是太‘小女孩’了?！毕Ｍ蔀橐幻こ處煹奶葡壬f道，“男生說話比較直接，我們不喜歡女孩說話太直接，這可事關(guān)自尊心?！?/p>

希望成為數(shù)學(xué)講師的卡莫爾·普拉卡什說的倒在年輕人和他們的長輩中具有代表性?！拔夷壳皩φ勄檎f愛沒什么興趣，因為我想繼續(xù)深造，”他說，“如果我把注意力放在談戀愛上，就無法專注于學(xué)業(yè)?！?/p>