文/畢淑敏 譯/朱虹

有個(gè)年輕人，名叫安瀾，他說自己干什么都會(huì)成癮。

我要詳細(xì)了解情況，就說：“請(qǐng)打個(gè)比方?！?/p>

他說：“我上學(xué)的時(shí)候就對(duì)網(wǎng)絡(luò)成癮。那時(shí)候，我每天起碼有五小時(shí)要趴在網(wǎng)上，網(wǎng)友遍布全世界?！?/p>

[2]我插嘴道：“全世界？真夠廣泛的?！?/p>

安瀾說：“是啊。人們都說上網(wǎng)對(duì)學(xué)習(xí)有影響，可那時(shí)我的英文水平突飛猛進(jìn)，因?yàn)橐蛧獾木W(wǎng)友聊天，你要是英文不利索，人家就不理你了?！?/p>

[3]我說：“一天五小時(shí)，你還是學(xué)生，要保證正常的上課，哪里來的這么多時(shí)間??？”

During one of my counseling sessions, a young fellow named An Lan confided to me that for him, anything that he enjoys would turn into an obsession. I asked for an example.He told me that when at school, he had been addicted to going online—he would spend five hours every day at the computer, his online friends were spread throughout the world.

[2] I could not help exclaiming:“Throughout the world! That’s really something.”

“So it is,” An Lan went on, “People say that going online affects your school work, but in my case, my English shot up. I had to chat with friends throughout the world, and if your English is not snappy, the kids ignore you.”

[3] “Five hours online! You were a student at the time. How did you find so much spare time?”

安瀾說：“很簡(jiǎn)單，壓縮睡眠，我每天只睡五小時(shí)。我有單獨(dú)的房間，電腦就在床邊。我每天做完作業(yè)后先睡下，四小時(shí)之后，準(zhǔn)時(shí)就醒了，一骨碌爬起來就上網(wǎng)，神不知鬼不覺的，到了天快亮的時(shí)候，再睡一小時(shí)回籠覺。爸爸媽媽叫我起床的時(shí)候，我正睡得香甜。很長時(shí)間，家里人看我白天萎靡不振的，都以為是上學(xué)累的，殊不知我的睡眠是個(gè)包子，外面包的皮是睡覺，里面裹的餡就是上網(wǎng)?！?/p>

[4]我說：“青少年正是長身體的時(shí)候，你這樣睡眠不足，是要出大問題的?！?/p>

安瀾說：“還真讓您說對(duì)了。后來，我就得了腎炎。因?yàn)椴荒芫米抑缓每s減了上網(wǎng)的時(shí)間。我休了學(xué)，急性期過了以后，醫(yī)生建議我開始緩和的室外活動(dòng)，慢慢地增強(qiáng)體力，我就到郊外或是公園散步。

“一個(gè)人在外面閑逛，就是風(fēng)景再美麗、空氣再新鮮，也有膩的時(shí)候。我爸說，要不給你買個(gè)照相機(jī)吧，一邊走一邊拍照，就不覺得煩了。家里先是給我買了個(gè)數(shù)碼的傻瓜相機(jī)。果然，照相讓人覺得時(shí)間過得很快，一只狗正在撒尿，一只貓正在齜牙咧嘴地向另外一只貓?zhí)翎?，都成了我的攝影素材。白天照了相，晚上就在電腦上回放，自己又開心一回。很快，這種簡(jiǎn)陋的卡片機(jī)就不能滿足我的欲望了。我開始讓家里人給我買好的機(jī)子，買各式各樣的鏡頭……把自己認(rèn)為好的照片放大。城周圍的景物拍煩了，就到更遠(yuǎn)的地方去，我又迷上了旅游。

“Easy,” said An Lan. “Cut sleep to five hours. I had a bedroom to myself,and my computer was next to my bed.I went to bed right after finishing my homework. I woke up promptly after four hours’ sleep and went online,and nobody the wiser. By daybreak, I stopped for another hour or so to sleep.When my mom or dad came knocking to wake me up for school, I would still be in deep sleep. I would go through the day pale and out of sorts. My parents assumed that I was overworked at school.Actually my problem was lack of sleep.For me, sleeping became a pretense, a cloak to hide the time I spent online.”

[4] I muttered that he was still in growing pains and that this lack of sleep would cause serious problems.

“It was just as you said,” exclaimed An Lan. “Soon, I was diagnosed with nephritis and could not remain sitting up for long. I had to cut the time spent online. Then I had to quit school. When the first acute attack was over, the doctor advised me to spend time outdoors to recover my strength. I would take walks in the park or the outskirts of town.

“No matter how fresh the air, or how beautiful the scenery, I soon became bored of being alone all the time. So my dad bought me a little digital camera.Taking random snapshots as I walked about got me out of boredom. A doggie peeing, a cat showing its teeth at a rival—they all served as subjects for photography. Back home at night,I would play back the shots and get some entertainment out of them. But soon I was dissatisfied with that simple contraption. I got a good camera with different lenses and took shots of views in and out of town, and back home I would enlarge them for fun. I would go further and further out of town in search of better views, and this actually turned into tourism.

“后來我爸說，我這是豪華型患病，花在照相和旅游上的錢，比吃藥貴多了。不管怎么樣，我的病漸漸地好了。但是錯(cuò)過了高考，我就上了一所職業(yè)學(xué)校，學(xué)市場(chǎng)營銷。畢業(yè)以后，我進(jìn)了一家玩具公司。玩具這個(gè)東西，利潤是很大的，只要你營銷搞得好，拿比例提成，收入很可觀。這時(shí)候，因?yàn)闀r(shí)間有限，到遠(yuǎn)處旅游和照相，變得難以實(shí)現(xiàn)，我就迷上了請(qǐng)客吃飯……”

[5]我雖然知道咨詢師在這時(shí)應(yīng)該保持足夠的耐心傾聽，還是不由自主地小聲重復(fù)：“迷上了請(qǐng)客吃飯？”

“My father muttered that mine was really an expensive hobby, as the costs of my photography and ‘tourism’ had far exceeded the medical expenses. Despite the complaints about expenses, I did have a good recovery. But by then I had missed the National Test for Higher Education, so I attended a vocational school where I studied marketing. On graduation, I got a job at a toy store.I was paid according to percentage of sales and enjoyed a good income. Under the circumstances, photography and tourism as pastimes were out of the question, so I became addicted to throwing dinner parties.”

[5] I was aware that as his counselor,I should hear him out, but I could not help exclaiming: “Addicted to throwing dinner parties!” To be honest, it was the first time I had ever heard of such an addiction.

說句實(shí)話，我見過各種上癮的癥狀，要說請(qǐng)客吃飯上癮，還真是第一次碰上。

安瀾說：“是啊。我喜歡請(qǐng)客時(shí)那種向別人發(fā)出邀請(qǐng)，別人受寵若驚的感覺。喜歡挑選餐館，拿著點(diǎn)菜單一頁頁翻過時(shí)的那種運(yùn)籌帷幄的感覺，好像點(diǎn)將臺(tái)上的將軍，尤其是喜歡最后結(jié)賬時(shí)一擲千金、舍我其誰的豪爽感。”

[6]我思忖著說：“你為這些感覺付出的代價(jià)一定很高昂。”

安瀾垂頭喪氣地說：“誰說不是呢？去年年底，我拿到了七萬塊錢的提成獎(jiǎng)勵(lì)，結(jié)果還沒過完春節(jié)，就都花完了，我可給北京的餐飲業(yè)做出了杰出的貢獻(xiàn)。最近，我們又要發(fā)季度提成了，我真怕這筆錢到了我的手里，很快就煙消灰滅。而且，酒肉朋友們散去之后，我摸著空空的錢包，覺得非常孤單?？墒窍乱淮?，我又會(huì)重蹈覆轍，不能自拔。我爸和我媽提議讓我來看心理醫(yī)生，說我這個(gè)人愛上什么都沒節(jié)制，很可怕。將來要是談上女朋友也這樣上癮，今天一個(gè)明天一個(gè)，就變成流氓了。我自己也挺苦惱的，一個(gè)人，要是總這樣管不住自己，也干不成大事啊，您能告訴我一個(gè)好方法嗎？”

An Lan said, “Yes, I like the feeling of sending out invitations and seeing the delight and surprise on people’s faces. I like the experience of choosing a restaurant and going through the menu page by page, deliberating over the choices,like a general picking his team. I especially like the grand finale of throwing down the cash in a magnanimous gesture, as if saying who else if not I?”

[6] I demurred, saying: “I suppose you must have paid a hefty price for this kind of ‘feeling good’?”

An Lan looked downcast. “Exactly.On the eve of New Year, I received a bonus of seventy thousand yuan, but it all went down the drain and Spring Festival was barely a month away. I could say that I have really made a contribution to the success of the catering business in Beijing. And now, our bonus for the second season is about to be handed out. I am really afraid that the money will disappear in a flash. The fact is,once the convivial gathering is scattered and I am left with an empty pocket, I feel very dejected. But I can’t help myself. The minute there is money in my pocket, the cycle is on again, beyond my control…

“My parents have advised me to seek counsel, saying that this merry-goround of dinners must be checked. Suppose I start dating, they warned, I will be meeting one girl today and a new girl tomorrow, and I will be taken for a womanizer. I myself am unhappy about the situation. I will never be up to much if this trend goes on. Do you have any advice?”

[7]我說：“安瀾，我知道你現(xiàn)在很焦慮，好方法咱們來一起找找看。你能告訴我像上網(wǎng)啊，攝影啊，旅游啊，請(qǐng)客吃飯啊這些活動(dòng)，帶給你的最初的感覺是什么嗎？”

安瀾說：“當(dāng)然是快樂啦！”

我說：“讓咱們假設(shè)一下，如果在那個(gè)時(shí)候，來了位醫(yī)生抽一點(diǎn)你的血，化驗(yàn)一下你的血液成分，你覺得結(jié)果會(huì)怎么樣？”

安瀾困惑地吐了一下舌頭，說：“估計(jì)很疼吧？結(jié)果是怎樣的，就不知道了?！?/p>

[8]我說：“抽血有一點(diǎn)疼，不過很快就會(huì)過去。我以前當(dāng)過很久的醫(yī)生，對(duì)化驗(yàn)這方面有一點(diǎn)心得。當(dāng)人們?cè)诳鞓返臅r(shí)候，內(nèi)分泌系統(tǒng)會(huì)有一種物質(zhì)產(chǎn)生，叫作內(nèi)啡肽?！?/p>

安瀾很感興趣，說：“您告訴我是哪幾個(gè)字。”

我在一張紙上寫下了“內(nèi)啡肽”幾個(gè)字。

安瀾仔細(xì)端詳著，說：“這個(gè)‘啡’字，就是咖啡的‘啡’嗎？”

我說：“正是?？Х纫灿幸欢ǖ呐d奮作用。”

[7] I said, “An Lan, I realize you are worried. Let’s put our heads together and think of something. Tell me, what were your feelings when you first plunged yourself into going online, and photography, and tourism, and entertainment?”

“I was happy, of course!”

“Now supposing that at the time, a doctor showed up and wanted to take your blood for testing, how would you feel?”

Caught unawares, An Lan stuck out his tongue. “I suppose it will hurt.I won’t be able to predict the result,though.”

[8] I told him that getting one’s blood taken will hurt a little but that the pain will be gone very quickly. I had been a doctor and know something about blood testing. When people are happy, there are secretions from their endocrinal glands, called endorphin.

An Lan seemed very interested, and wanted me to show it to him in writing,so I wrote down on a piece of paper the three Chinese ideograms for endorphin.

An Lan scrutinized them and said:“The phin here sounds like fei, the last ideogram for the word coffee.”

[9]安瀾說：“您的意思是說，每當(dāng)我進(jìn)入那些讓我上癮的活動(dòng)的時(shí)候，我身體里都會(huì)分泌出內(nèi)啡肽嗎？”

我說：“安瀾，你很聰明，的確是這樣的。內(nèi)啡肽讓我們有一種不知疲勞、忘卻憂愁、精神煥發(fā)的感覺。這在短期內(nèi)當(dāng)然是很令人振奮的，但長久下去，身體就會(huì)吃不消。這就是很多染上了網(wǎng)癮的人，最后變成茶飯不思、精神萎靡不振、體重大減、面黃肌瘦的原因啊。而且，因?yàn)槿松习a時(shí)，對(duì)其他的事情不管不顧，考慮問題很不理性，就會(huì)出現(xiàn)嚴(yán)重的后果，這也就是你在請(qǐng)人吃完飯之后精神十分空虛的癥結(jié)。有的人工作成癮，就成了工作狂；有的人盜竊成癮，就成了罪犯；有的人飛車成癮，就成了飆車族；有的人權(quán)力成癮，就成了獨(dú)裁者……”

[10]安瀾說：“這樣看來，內(nèi)啡肽是個(gè)很壞的東西了。”

我說：“也不能這樣一概而論。人體分泌出來的東西，都是有用的。比如當(dāng)你跑馬拉松的時(shí)候，只要沖過了身體那個(gè)拐點(diǎn)，因?yàn)轶w內(nèi)開始有內(nèi)啡肽的分泌，你就不覺得辛苦，反倒會(huì)有一種越跑越有勁的感覺。比如有的科學(xué)家埋頭科學(xué)實(shí)驗(yàn)，為了整個(gè)人類的發(fā)展做出了卓越貢獻(xiàn)，在那種非常艱難困苦的條件下能夠堅(jiān)持下來，他的內(nèi)啡肽也功不可沒??！”

I said yes, and coffee has the effect of stimulation.

[9] An Lan asked: “Are you saying that every time I get wrapped up in those activities which could be addictive, it means that my body is secreting that stimulant?”

I replied: “An Lan, you are smart,quick to get to the point. Endorphin has the short-term effect of stimulating us and making us forget fatigue and unhappiness. In the long term, you get hooked. All such addictions are debilitating, causing loss of appetite, weight loss, and general decline of health. People throw everything to the winds when they are hooked. They stop thinking rationally and that may give rise to serious consequences. That is what happens to you after your dinner parties, you feel emptied out. In some cases, people become workaholics; others become kleptomaniacs and end up criminals.Then there are others who become part of the maniac drivers crowd. Still others become maniacs for power, and end up dictators…”

[10] An Lan said: “This means that endorphin is a very bad thing?”

I said: “We shouldn’t make these generalizations. Whatever the human body secretes, it has its uses. For instance, while running the Marathon,your body will be secreting endorphin after you have passed that critical turning point, and then you will stop feeling so tired. Actually you may even feel lighter on your feet. It is the same with scientists. As they bury themselves in research on subjects which benefit mankind, it is also thanks to the effect of endorphin that they could persist in their work under difficult circumstances.”

[11]安瀾說：“聽您這樣一講，我反倒有點(diǎn)糊涂了?！?/p>

我說：“任何事情都要有節(jié)制。比如，溫暖的火苗在嚴(yán)冬是個(gè)好東西，可要是把你放到火上烤，結(jié)果就很不妙。如果你不想變成烤羊肉串，就得趕快躲開。再有，在干燥的沙漠里，泉水是個(gè)好東西，但要是發(fā)了洪水，讓人面臨滅頂之災(zāi)，那就成了禍害。對(duì)于身體的內(nèi)分泌激素，我們也要學(xué)會(huì)駕馭。這說起來很難，其實(shí)，我們一直在經(jīng)受這種訓(xùn)練。比如你肚子餓了，經(jīng)過一個(gè)燒餅攤，雖然烤得焦黃的燒餅讓你垂涎欲滴，但是如果你沒買下燒餅，你就不能搶上一個(gè)燒餅下肚。如果你看到一個(gè)美麗的姑娘，雖然你的性激素開始分泌，你也不能上去就擁抱人家。所以，學(xué)會(huì)控制自己的內(nèi)啡肽，也是成長的必修課之一啊?！?/p>

[12]聽到這里，安瀾若有所思地拿起那張紙，看了又看，說：“這個(gè)內(nèi)啡肽的‘啡’字和嗎啡的‘啡’字，也是同一個(gè)字?！?/p>

[11] An Lan murmured that he was getting a bit confused.

I said: “There is a limit to everything.Fire is good for winter, right? But I bet you don’t want to be held over the fire,unless you want to be baked. Again,water is a good thing in the desert, but you don’t want to be caught in a deluge.It is the same with the hormones in our bodies—we must learn to control. It sounds difficult to achieve; actually we are constantly being trained unawares.Say you are hungry and you pass by a stall with tantalizingly crispy baked buns on display. No matter how hungry,you will not snatch one unless you have paid for it. When you see a beautiful girl, your hormones might start working, but you will not go up and give her a hug. Controlling your endorphin is part of growing up.”

[12] As I finished speaking, An Lan picked up the piece of paper, looked closely at the writing and said: “The phin in the term endorphin is the same ideogram as the phine in morphine.”

我說：“安瀾，你看得很細(xì)，說得也很正確。成癮這件事，最可怕的是毒品成癮。嗎啡和內(nèi)啡肽有著某種相似的結(jié)構(gòu)，當(dāng)有些人靠著毒品達(dá)到快樂巔峰的時(shí)候，他們就步入了一個(gè)深淵，這就更要提高警惕了。當(dāng)然了，網(wǎng)癮和毒品成癮還是有一定的區(qū)別的。不過，一個(gè)人要身體健康和心理健康，對(duì)所有那些令我們成癮的事物都要提高控制力，要有節(jié)制?！?/p>

那天告辭的時(shí)候，安瀾說：“我記住了，任何成癮都是災(zāi)難?！?/p>

I said, “An Lan, you are a sharp observer and you got it right. Talking of addictions, the worst one is drugs. The structure of morphine and that of endorphin have something in common. People who are addicted to drugs are actually in hell. That is something that we must beware of. Of course, addiction to going online is something different from reliance on drugs. But still, in order to maintain bodily and mental health, we should keep a distance from anything that is addictive. We must practice self-control—everything in moderation.”

As he left, An Lan murmured to himself: “Keep this in mind: addiction means disaster.”